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2016 : In Text and Photos

The year that was and the year that will be…

2016 is not the best year but it’s a year full of new beginnings and bittersweet endings. I’ve written my frustrations and unanswered prayers in my previous blog posts and I won’t rehash it anymore.

December of last year, I decided not to expect much on what 2016 can actually bring into my life. I promised myself to be more open-minded and just let life happen.

I made 2016 my travel year and indeed I got what I wanted — memories and experiences that made me realized how beautiful life can actually be. I went to places I’ve never been to and created new memories from the places I’ve been to before.

In 2017, I want a monthly travel plan like what I tried to achieve last year.

February 

  • Iloilo City day trip

March

  •  Church, Cebu
  • Cagayan de Oro 
  • Bukidnon
  • Misamis Oriental 

April

  • Boracay Island

May

  • Bantayan Island,Cebu

August

  • Kapurpurawan Rock Formation
  • Patapat Viaduct
  • Pagudpud
  • Laoag
  • Vigan 
  • Cordillera 
  • Baguio City
  • Tagaytay 

September 

  • La Carlota City

October 

  • Puka Beach, Boracay 

November 

  • Gary’s Punong, Silay City
  • Dumaguete City

December 

  • Don Salvador Benedicto 

Oh… the places I will go!

2016 taught me to embrace change and I had a surprise of my life when I got transferred to another program. It was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster but I’m glad that I was able to adjust. New team and new colleagues, I’m back to where I’ve started and it’s starting to feel like home.

I failed my 2016 goal but being top team for FCR last Q3 is not bad. A reminder that I don’t totally get what I usually want, TOP TEAM.  I remembered how my ASNP life was, great times with lots of achievements and recognitions. Oh well, I guess I’m simply glad that I met new bunch of people who became a great part of my 2016. 

I got new set of friends this year but still having great times with the old ones.

I’ve been to a lot of events for the first time.

  • Lights of Bago 2016
  • Boom: Music fest 
  • Boyce Avenue Concert
  • Tito Nonoy’s wake
  • RTNHS alumni homecoming 
  • Laboracay 2016
  • Site Recognitions 
  • Birthday Parties 
  • Give a Bag of Hope 2
  • Masskara Festival 
  • Random meet ups and get together
  • Empire : CVG Christmas Party 
  • HSD Gift Giving 

    It’s my first to open a passbook savings account and bought an insurance for myself. This is to ensure my future and be financially independent moving forward.

    Now, despite me going to the gym for the first time last October to be stronger and to shed off some excess fats I still cannot help but indulge myself to new restaurants and café.

    Top 10 favorite places to dine and chill

    • Starbucks
    • Vikings
    • Merkado 
    • Miren Café 
    • Manhattan’s Fleet Gastropub
    • Bob’s Café
    • Delicioso 
    • Bascon Café 
    • Calea 
    • Cantina Mondo 

    Food trippin’

    I am a food junkie who loves to eat and chill.

    Coffee and Alcohol 

    always been my refuge since my mind and heart usually have irreconcilable differences. 

    And vanity continues this 2017…

    9 Best Selfie moments!!! 😂

    Ain’t tired of my face… thank God for the gift of youthfulness. 😂

    I let God take the driver’s seat. I won’t push him anymore to grant my heart’s desires for I know that all good things come to those who wait. I won’t sulk for all the unanswered prayers. I won’t punish myself for the mistakes I did. I won’t live my life with regrets. I will stop holding on to people who doesn’t take an extra mile to be there for me and to show how important I am. I will not settle for less than I deserve just because I don’t have an option. I will stop having too much faith in humanity for it’ll just be another disappointing memory to bear. I will keep on controlling the beast in me because I know how asshole I can be. I should know better and be the bigger person no matter what. I won’t let my anger control me because it’ll end up with something I’ll just regret. I hope I’ll still be more motivated to write and let people know my other side. I hope to inspire others through my words and lastly, I hope to find the incomplete pieces of my life’s puzzle. The blank spaces haunt me, wanting to be filled soon.

    I don’t expect much for 2017. I’ll just embrace it as it unfolds another chapter of my life. Whatever happens whether it’ll turn out to be great or not I know for sure that it will make me a better person. I know I’ll be frustrated again, probably shed buckets of tears or worst encounter another heartbreaking moment. I’ll take whatever God’s challenge will be, as if I have a better choice. Anyways, I choose to chill and I will keep on choosing things and people that will make me happy. Life’s short as they say so why choose to suffer?

     Live and let go for life is meant to be experienced and discovered. Hey 2017, what’s up? I’m definitely ready for you.

    XOXO,

    Carol  😘

     

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    Posted by on January 1, 2017 in adventures, art, food, personal, travel, writing

     

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    Day 3 of 365

    Day 3 of 2015 and I’m still in chaos. I don’t know what to feel as of the moment. There are lots of things to do and I’m here in my room letting each seconds pass doing nothing.

    I feel nothing.

    I can only hear my mind rehashing conversations of how my relationship sucks and that I’m not worth those words. I’m not worthy of a risk in friendship, I’m not worthy of being his girlfriend, I’ll be just a forever friend after everything. Not that I’m asking for more or something…  Well I used to be fine, I mean I would admit I got this feelings already years before but I’m not actually bothered. I understand that it’s not easy to be in a relationship knowing a lot of risks are involved and he’s not even the typical guy. I also understand that I have priorities and that I have lots of issues to be fixed. His world is actually scary and I’m not sure if I can take it all in. Being single did bother me but my life didn’t focus on it until one day…  my friends and I went out, sort of a reunion after a year of not seeing each other. We talked about life, career and love. My singleness had been highlighted for the nth time and I did share my story to them. Most of them said that I should enjoy the feeling, no rush or whatsoever, just enjoy while my guy friend told me to stop. Years of being great friends without even a hint that he wants to level up what we have means he sees me just a friend. He told me that if he likes a girl whether it’s a friend or not you don’t just let go of the chance to be with her unless you’re unsure. If she’s worth the risk, you’ll risk even the friendship you built together so that you’ll not worry about the what ifs because you know that this person already accepted you for who you are because you’re best of friends.

    I’ve been confused for the past few days. I asked myself if I’m not worthy at all. I’ve given too much of my time to him. He was my priority even if I won’t admit that. I will do anything for him and I realized how stupid I am to reserve myself for someone whose priorities may not include me at all. My heart is actually breaking right now because I feel so unworthy, that nobody would actually take the risk of saving me, of loving me and of caring for me. I am terribly tired of waiting and of being strong. I love myself, no doubt to that fact as I’ve survived too many trials still with optimism and vigor. It’s just frustrating to realized that nobody would take that risk to fix my broken pieces.

    I know I’ve been too dramatic. I know this shouldn’t be a big deal. I know that with all of the things I’ve been through this is just a scratch… But still it hurts me significantly. It just hurts.

    I have piles of stuffs to do while I wallow myself into depression. I’m wasting time, wasting energy and wasting my life into this reality. This is not my usual self. I’m in pain knowing that he’ll never see me as his significant other that maybe I’m just a younger sister to him, that maybe I’m just someone he’s comfortable with and that maybe…  Maybe I’m not that important at all when he’s important in my life.

    He matters.

    He’s my life.

    It sucks to admit this but he gave me too much memories… you cannot just throw away moments, you cannot just forget all the years of being great buddies…  You just can’t. No matter how I tell myself to forget him, there’s this force that drive me back to where it all started. I can’t let him go. I can’t just forget. I can be stupid to pretend all is well just for me to spend coffee or lunch with him. It’s stupid, I know.

    How will I survive this mess I’m in?

    How?

    A shout out to my favorite poet Tyler Knott Gregson for he already summed up what I feel…

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    Posted by on January 3, 2015 in life, Life Blog, people, writing

     

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    My Superhero. My Favorite Person. My Dad.

    Today seems to be just another Sunday in our house. I guess it’s because we really have no one here to greet a happy father’s day. Two decades and a half ago, my dad died of emphysema and multiple organ failure. He was a chain smoker, the main reason why I never tried smoking, I don’t want to die nor someone I love die because of it.

    My dad is an American. He was raised up in Indianapolis, Indiana, such a laidback state in the U.S.A.. Just like any American boy, he too joined the corps but he chooses to be part of the U.S. Air Force after he finished his business degree. His life was in the airfield. He pilots a jet plane to bring meds to the wounded during wars. He’s been to different places and bases. Paris was his favorite city, no wonder I dreamt to be there too.

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    Dad for me is the coolest. After he retired as a Lieutenant Colonel, he dedicated his time in teaching aeronautics here in the Philippines when Clark Airbase is still fully operational. He enjoyed owning Chicks Bar, the bar with a pub kind of set up. It’s not a disco bar but solely a bar with a chill ambiance. My dad will never live without his Scotch and cigarettes. I can say he was an alcoholic.

    My dad battled his demons but as he aged he accepted the fact that he can’t totally stop it. His vices though didn’t affect too much of his relationship with my mother. He was not a loud mouth. When he drinks, he’s so quiet that each sip calms him. He too is  a caffeine addict and prefers to have his coffee boiling hot and should be black. I guess I too do have his genes.

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    Golf is my father’s favorite sport. He and Mama spend too much of their time in various golf courses. He also plays tennis and swimming. He loves the beach.

    Dad loves airplanes, yachts and cars. He used to own a vintage Mercedes and Ford Cortina. He loves to assemble miniature automobiles, ships and planes as his past time. He also loves to scribble, I remembered seeing him on his desk with his glasses on while I watch my favorite cartoons. He loves to bake apples with cinnamon in it, my cousins love it so much. He too bakes different kinds of pie and sweets. He bakes cookies and walk several blocks and then gives it to children in the streets. Dad is such a man full of love.

    I am one lucky kid. I was raised in a home full of love and joy. My childhood memories were so great, I can still fully recall. He treated me like a princess. He gave me a toy car that I can drive when I was 3 and from there my interest in cars grew. If he was here, he might have given me a BMW on my 18th birthday. Dad, life will be different if you’re still around.

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    What could have happened if dad is still here?

    ** I’m a spoiled brat.
    ** I might be a US citizen already.
    ** I’ve been enjoying my life without worrying about money.
    ** I don’t need to work.
    ** I have a BMW.
    ** I already pilot a plane.
    ** I know the formula to bake his most-loved pies.

    Honestly, if he’s alive I might have been materialistic. I always get what I want with my dad. It’s actually hard not to have a father during teenage years. I don’t have someone to hug nor someone to bother about Math because it’s his forte. I finished my degree in Computer Science because he wanted that for me. Anything Dad wants, I want. I love ComSci. I graduated with one cool degree not made for people with a weak determination to succeed. I know I made dad proud.

    I purchased a book before by Gregory Lang. It’s about why a daughter needs a dad.

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    Here are my favorite reasons :

    A daughter needs a dad…

    …to learn that when he says it will be okay soon, it will.
    …who will laugh at her at all the right times.
    …who will always have time to give her hugs and kisses.
    …to make the family whole and complete.
    …so she will know what it is like to be somebody’s favorite.
    …to make the complex simple and the painful bearable.
    …to be the safe spot she can always turn to. … to be the standard against which she will judge all men.
    …so that she will have at least one hero who will not let her down.
    …to tuck her in at night.
    …who will let her know that while she may not be the center of someone else’s world, she is the center of his.
    …to hold her as she cries.
    …to share with her the wisdom she has not yet acquired.
    …who teaches her she is important by stopping what he is doing to watch her.
    …to teach her the joy of serving others.
    …to calm her when she is stressed by her challenges.
    …to tell her all that she needs to know about boys.
    …to stand with her on the day she marries the man she hopes will be just like her father.
    …to teach her what kind of man to choose to be the father of her children.
    …to teach her to spend responsibly, save for a rainy day, and give with a generous heart.

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    Life will never be the same without you in it.

    Dad, I’m thankful for everything that have happened. I am now a grown up with a beautiful past. All the bad things that have happened, the difficult times we faced without you and the personal challenges I needed to face… they were all part of my past. I learned life the hard way but I didn’t and will never quit. I’m pretty much like you today. A warrior doesn’t just quit with the sight of blood, in fact it gives them more strength to persevere.

    I’ll never ceased to make you proud, I’ll still continue to be your girl … it’ll be forever.

    I love you, Daddy. 

     
     

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    Sipaway Island : Parana Private Beach Resort

    It’s summer once again and I bet you’re looking for a good place to stay. All of us really do want to unwind and ’chillax’ as what most yuppies like me call it. It’s a typical summer day with friends. I daydreamed of lounging under the trees, enjoying the blue skies, letting the rays of the sun hit my skin while I’m sipping cocktails and listening to Bob Marley’s Caribbean Blue. Now it’s giving me a certain kind of high but my trip was not really like I imagined. There’s no shoreline, mostly concrete walls or huge rocks.

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    Anyways, before you all get started to get bored by my blabs, I just want to share to you my latest trip. I went to Sipaway Island in San Carlos City, Negros Occidental with my MBA classmates/friends to simply unwind and relax after a busy school year and of course a busy life at work. It’s a two and a half hour trip from Bacolod via Don Salvador Benedicto. We met up at Bacolod South Terminal and rode the Ceres Bus. You can choose a non – aircon or an aircon bus. Since we missed the 6am trip, we have no choice but to ride the non – aircon one which costs us 105php because we had our IDs thus student discount. It’s 125php for regular passengers. Unlike my travel experience to Sipalay, this trip is less exhausting maybe because I’m sleeping most of the time and missed all the breathtaking view in Don Salvador Benedicto which I appreciated better on our way home because I was wide awake the whole time. We arrived in San Carlos terminal at 9:30 and went directly to the market to buy our food and necessities. The tricycle fare costs 10php. It’s almost a 10-minuteboat ride from San Carlos port to Sipaway Island which costs 15php per head.

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    The trike from Sipaway Port to the resort also costs 15php. Parana Private Beach resort is owned by my MBA classmate’s highschool classmate. I forgot the name of the owner though.

    The best word to describe the place would be cozy. It’s a good place to stay when you want to stay away from the hustles and bustles of our daily grind in our city life.

    Highlights :

    * It’s a private resort therefore you can do whatever you want to do there

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    * Cozy and clean cottages with utensils

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    * Nice and friendly caretakers
    * A scenic view of the sea and Negros mountains

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    * Clear beach water

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    * Safe swimming area because of the walls surrounding it

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    * You’ll love the starfishes…

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    Lowlights:

    * The island has no water supply.
    * There’s no electricity, you need to pay if you would like to use the generator.
    * No free wi-fi so better bring your own mobile broadband.
    * Some areas are rocky so don’t expect sands like in Boracay Island

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    * Be careful of sea urchins…

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    Overall, it was a great experience. I was able to get away from my weekend routine. It’s either I’m at home or I’m out chilling with friends not wanting to go home until the sun slowly shines from the horizon. I spent one weekend away from my city life. We spent the night mostly talking, eating and drinking. We are totally focused, no phones to tinker or to check, no Facebook to update and no Foursquare to checked in to. There’s no technology involved. I remembered waking up early, no hangover or whatsoever just to see the sun rise. I walk around like a nomad… simply enjoying my lone time.

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    I always long for that kind of moment. I was just simply there, alone and all I can hear was Armin Van Buuren’s music in my phone enticing me to feel this moment I rarely feel back at home. My thoughts were drifting to nowhere. I feel so comfortable even if I’m alone. If only every day of my life is as peaceful as this, if only every single day is as chill as this and if only life is nothing but good vibes, no problems, no stress, no complications… if only.

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    Posted by on April 21, 2014 in life, Life Blog, nature, travel, writing

     

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    04.06.2014

    Dear God,

    It’s been 4 months since the last time I write in my journal. I actually miss writing to you, sharing my thoughts about how I feel and telling you about everything.

    I woke up at 3am with the urge to write just to say thank you. I always say thank you for all the good and bad things that happened to me. Who and where I am right now is a product of a beautiful past. At first, I don’t understand why it should happen to me. I’ve been always asking to the point of blaming you for all the pain I’ve felt. I guess it’s about time to close that chapter I left open for almost a decade.

    I’m definitely sure that in order for me to totally move forward is to finally know the truth.  It’s one brave act to go back to the past and finally slam and lock the door.

    Today, I’m pretty much sure of my feelings. I love someone for the past year and whether we’ll end up together or not, I’m happy he became a part of my life. He helped me unconsciously in fixing my broken parts. He made me happy when I’m about to give up. He has issues, some are vices that scare me and are hindering my decision to finally give it a shot.

    You know how much I pray God. You know how much I write about my prayers before. I know you know how much I want him to conquer his demons.  I want him to change but I don’t want to force it either. I accepted him for who he is and I know he knows the consequences of what he’s doing today. I don’t want to be like a mother who’ll constantly remind him of what’s right and what’s wrong. I want to be his partner, someone who’ll be with him no matter what. Together, we’ll fight those demons. If he only knew how happy I am tonight knowing that at 3 am he’s not wasted. I pray he’ll finally get over this kind of lifestyle.

    God, thanks for everything. Thank you for your love and guidance as I was able to survive life’s challenges for 24 years. I never valued money until I got nothing. I never had the chance to get to know my dad for long. My life is a little bit dysfunctional. I have lots and lots of questions but I dread the answers. Whatever.

    Anyhoo, thanks again. I apologize for those days when I questioned your will. Your plans are way better than mine. All I need is to be positive. Life’s not actually perfect but I’m definitely happy today because my God didn’t give up on me.  When I’m in pain and things don’t go my way, I always tell myself that someday it’ll all make sense.

    Love,

    Carol ❤

     
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    Posted by on April 6, 2014 in inspirational, journal, life, writing

     

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    12/03: Being Alone

    I stumbled upon an anonymous quote online few days ago which states “The best way to be happy with someone is to learn to be happy alone that way the company will be a matter of choice and not necessity.

    This was so true that I reblogged the quote on my Instagram and Tumblr account.

    Most people nowadays seem to be swooned with the idea that you need to have someone to take care of you and that being alone can sometimes be pathetic. I used to feel that way, I must admit.

    It’s pathetic to eat alone because others may think that your date stood you up.
    It’s pathetic to watch movies alone because who watch movies in cinemas alone? It’s scary and creepy sitting alone in the dark wherein any moment there’s someone who’ll just inject you something and you woke up the next day with HIV — one of the worst thing that can happen in a movie theatre. It’s pathetic to travel alone because people might think you’re heart broken and simply needs to wander alone to find yourself.

    People can sometimes conform to what society thinks. Unfortunately, I’m not part of the majority.

    For the past few years, I learned to love myself. I was a hopeless romantic behind my tough demeanor. I used to ask why I love someone who doesn’t love me back and why can’t I love those who love me. It’s been one hell of a depressing cycle. Oh well, it’s over now.

    Today, I’ve never been happier and comfortable with myself. I realized that I am my own competition. I accepted my flaws and worked on my insecurities.

    December 3 and I’m celebrating my life alone but definitely not lonely. I treated myself in a nearby hotel just because I want to. As what Paulo Coehlo said, “Do whatever you decide to do, but make sure that it makes you happy. ”

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    Embrace your awesomeness my dear and learn to be a little bit nice to yourself. 

    Much love,

    Chillerspot ©

     
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    Posted by on December 3, 2013 in journal, life, Life Blog, list, people, writing

     

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    12/02: Yearning the Past

    I guess I spent most of my time today either sleeping or reminiscing. Today will be another ordinary yesterday when tomorrow comes but I won’t let this moment pass.

    I won’t let this day drift away. If only I record what’s on my mind right now, I will. It’s nice to go back during the times when you don’t worry anything. Those times when we’re still on diapers and does not even understand what responsibility and adulthood means. You don’t worry so much of getting old as well as your financial needs because someone is taking care of you. You have your parents caring for your needs and wants and all you need to do is cry when you’re hungry and smile — the one that melts people’s heart.

    I’m currently 24 and I’m simply reminiscing how it is to be a child again. If only I can gather all those baby memories again, I’ll surely do.

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    My life so far has been interesting. I like how the way things in the past made sense today. Life is beautiful if we train our minds to see the positives in every difficult situation.

    29 more days before the year ends , let’s all be awesome!

    Love,

    Chillerspot ❤

     
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    Posted by on December 2, 2013 in christmas, journal, life, Life Blog, list, people, writing

     

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