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Monthly Archives: January 2014

Wednesday Thoughts

“There is no such thing as failure just postponed success. ”

It was an excerpt on an article I read in Manila Bulletin regarding life’s purpose. It’s a mere sentence that summed up my thoughts with regard to my dilemma or should I say symptoms of quarter life crisis that is now taking its toll.

If you’re an avid follower of my blog which I supposed you’re not (haha) you’ll find my previous posts a little dramatic which of course is not really intended because those were just my thoughts poured into this electronic sheet of paper waiting to be published in a world where everyone has access to it — wow.

I am what I write so before I get drowned with my blabs let me share my thoughts about my life.

Nothing has changed still. I’m still lost and stuck with no better choices to choose from. I still have my sanity despite the problems I need to face at home and my career frustrations. Since yesterday, I’ve been thinking about how I managed my life. My grades last semester was actually a huge surprised. I don’t know if it’s pure luck or indeed a product of hardwork. I realized that I fell .1 shorter in nailing the president’s list — an award given to students who have no grades below 1.0. I’m not really competing nor dying to get that award because my main goal is to simply pass but then again I was almost there. I’m still happy with the results.

There was a point I doubted myself and my worth. Thanks of course to the company I’m currently working. I’ve given my best before but it seems that all those potentials were just put into waste. From then on I no longer believed that hardwork and intelligence do equate success. It’s how you play the game according to their rules. Oh well.

Anyways, I came to realized that where I am right now is not able to make use of my potentials. I’m so excited to channel myself to a job where my opinions matter and that I’ll be the game master. I’ve plans and I know how hard I work for my goals and for my people. When I mean business , I mean business. I may demand a lot but I make sure it’s reasonable. Whether you’re my friend or not or whether you’re hot or not, if you don’t meet what is expected then I’m sorry. It’s how I work.and I miss my old, busy and stress self.

Oh well.

I’ve considered myself a good player still abiding the rules no matter how stupid the game can be sometimes. Where I am right now and the dilemmas I’ve been facing is just part of a greater plan. I am currently not a failure. Success is waiting and I’m in the mood to chase it.

Life! ūüôā

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2014 in 23, journal, life, Life Blog

 

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The Underdog Theory

My mind is currently drifting with various thoughts and my urge to blog is killing me so might as well indulge myself in the idea of  opening WordPress while selectively listening in our class discussion in Marketing.

I’m right in the middle of brewing my mind in gathering thoughts about the case only to realized that I’m already daydreaming. It’s been a daily dilemma on what career I really want to pursue. Marketing is interesting indeed and I’m seeing myself on that road but with my ambivert personality and diverse wants… it’s too early to tell.

I know my capabilities, how I work around with my strengths and weaknesses and how I manage my life in all aspects. I believed that the best key to success is to know yourself and how you make the best of your God-given and blessed DNA. Experiences and upbringing also plays significantly in how we approach our lives. I am a cynical optimist, a living irony and a variance of two extremes. It’s my mission to fully utilize my potentials and make a difference in this world. It’s also my goal to find a path that will lead me to feel the fulfillment and eternal happiness.

Just to clarify, I’m generally a happy person. I’m the type whose prowess shows if deemed necessary. I’m not the show-off type who brags my achievements. I am not into the limelight but I know that if given the chance I’ll be able to manage it. I am driven with the belief that “What you can do, I can too”.

I am always the second option and an underdog. I don’t want to be the person people looked up to. I don’t want to be the benchmark. I want to be part of the crowd not the star…

I know I’m unique, a warrior with a brave soul and a person who is most unlikely to quit. I love how my mind works especially when I’m inspired and moved by various things or daily miracles. I am a free – thinker, a soul searcher, a person with adamant convictions and a person whose lust for travel and adventure is an addiction.

How to play the game the  underdog way :

1. Know yourself – indulge in the idea of experiencing life in various way to discover your strengths, weaknesses and hidden potentials.

2. Learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences – observe and see opportunities in other people’s lives. Be inspired with their stories, defeats and successes to help you out in dealing with your life as well.

3. Be humble – the best secret to success is never reveal everything that you know and never ASSUME. Don’t be too confident that you know something and end up being disappointed.

4. Loosen up – Stop pressuring yourself to be the best all the time. There will come a time that someone is way better than you so embraced your individuality. Chill. Buy yourself a beer or coffee when you want to.

5. Don’t quit Always choose to be the best version of yourself. Never gave up, continue to hold on and simply believe in your own prowess.  If you don’t have the gears then fight the battle using your heart. 

Everyday is an experience. Life offers various ways for us to discover God’s plans for us. All we need to do is be open to changes and embrace each challenges because it’s our road to self-discovery.

Always remember that when you’re on top, the only way is down so I rather be on ground zero and enjoy my rise to the top.

Be positive and enjoy your journey on the road to self-discovery.

 
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Posted by on January 18, 2014 in inspirational, life, Life Blog

 

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Doldrums

After watching Jobs, a movie about the man whose vision I  have
always adored I felt so empty. A  rare feeling after watching an inspiring film supposed to be.

Steve¬†Jobs. I love¬†how¬†his¬†mind¬†works¬†and¬†how¬†he¬†had¬†changed¬†the¬†world. His brilliance¬†is¬†one¬†of¬†a¬†kind,¬†the¬†kind¬†I’m¬†definitely¬†envious¬†of.¬†Right¬†now¬†I’m¬†in¬†my¬†room¬†sulking¬†in¬†my¬†bed¬†thinking¬†how¬†my¬†life¬†is¬†going¬†so¬†far.¬†I¬†would¬†admit…¬†I’m¬†not¬†happy¬†with¬†how¬†I¬†ended¬†up¬†to¬†be.

I¬†am¬†a¬†dreamer,¬†an¬†achiever¬†and¬†a¬†go¬†–¬†getter.¬†I¬†hate¬†comfort¬†zones¬†because¬†I¬†believed¬†that¬†there¬†is¬†no¬†growth¬†in¬†staying¬†that¬†you¬†learn¬†to¬†value¬†what¬†life¬†is¬†when¬†you’re¬†out¬†there ¬†exploring.¬†I¬†love¬†freedom.¬†I¬†like¬†to¬†go¬†to¬†places¬†alone.¬†I¬†love¬†solitude.¬†I¬†hunger¬†for¬†experiences¬†that¬†will¬†change¬†me.¬†I¬†am¬†bound¬†to¬†be¬†great¬†but¬†then¬†again¬†here¬†I¬†am…

I’ve¬†been¬†working¬†since¬†2010¬†two¬†months¬†after¬†I¬†finished¬†my¬†degree¬†in¬†Computer¬†Science,¬†after¬†winning¬†my¬†most-coveted¬†Corps¬†D‚Äô¬†Elite¬†award¬†for¬†outstanding¬†club¬†president¬†and¬†after¬†spending¬†one¬†school¬†year¬†working¬†for¬†our¬†class¬†yearbook.¬†I¬†was¬†at¬†my¬†prime¬†yet¬†again¬†…¬†here¬†I¬†am.

I’m¬†thankful¬†to¬†have¬†a¬†job¬†in¬†an¬†industry¬†I¬†really¬†despised¬†back¬†in¬†college.¬†Yes,¬†the¬†industry¬†I¬†used¬†to¬†hate¬†is¬†the¬†one¬†feeding¬†me¬†and¬†my¬†family,¬†it¬†pays¬†my¬†bills¬†and¬†so¬†as¬†my¬†graduate¬†school¬†studies.¬†I’m¬†thankful,¬†of¬†course.¬†This¬†is¬†the¬†type¬†of¬†job¬†I¬†never¬†aspired¬†to¬†be¬†in.¬†I¬†don’t¬†see¬†myself¬†for¬†the¬†rest¬†of¬†my¬†freaking¬†life¬†assisting¬†customers¬†who¬†don’t¬†know¬†how¬†to¬†fix¬†their¬†mobile¬†applications¬†and¬†their¬†home¬†security.¬†It¬†melts my¬†heart¬†whenever¬†my¬†customer¬†thanks¬†me¬†for¬†a¬†job¬†well¬†done¬†but¬†it¬†doesn’t¬†give¬†me¬†the¬†happiness¬†and¬†fulfillment¬†that¬†I¬†wanted.¬†I¬†love¬†my¬†team,¬†my¬†colleagues¬†who¬†became¬†my¬†close¬†friends¬†and¬†mentors¬†I’ve¬†met¬†who¬†have¬†seen¬†my¬†potentials.¬†I¬†know¬†what¬†I¬†am¬†capable¬†of¬†doing¬†and¬†what¬†I’m¬†doing¬†right¬†now¬†is¬†not¬†even¬†20%¬†of¬†what¬†I¬†am¬†made¬†to¬†be.¬†It’s¬†not¬†using¬†my¬†talents¬†and¬†skills.¬†It¬†does¬†not¬†give¬†me¬†the¬†GROWTH¬†that¬†I¬†hungered¬†since¬†day¬†one.¬†What¬†I¬†get¬†actually¬†are¬†fun¬†memories, bullshits¬†and¬†values¬†that¬†can¬†help¬†me¬†in¬†the¬†future.

Maybe¬†you’re¬†wondering¬†why¬†am¬†I¬†still¬†here.

An¬†only¬†child¬†has¬†no¬†better¬†choice¬†but¬†to¬†be¬†an¬†heir¬†of¬†her¬†parent’s¬†problems.¬†I¬†too¬†am¬†not¬†a¬†bad¬†child¬†who¬†can¬†just¬†leave¬†my¬†mother¬†alone¬†just¬†for¬†her¬†selfish¬†dreams.¬†I¬†know¬†how¬†much¬†my¬†mom¬†sacrificed¬†for¬†me¬†during¬†the¬†days¬†when¬†we’re¬†about¬†to¬†lose¬†everything.¬†A¬†child¬†born¬†in¬†luxury¬†never¬†understands¬†what¬†life¬†is¬†until¬†she¬†had¬†nothing¬†left.¬†I¬†never¬†learn¬†to¬†value¬†things¬†until¬†I¬†had¬†almost¬†nothing…¬†and¬†rebuilding¬†it¬†is¬†the¬†hardest¬†part.

I¬†don’t¬†know¬†how¬†to¬†save¬†the¬†ship¬†from¬†sinking.¬†I¬†don’t¬†know¬†how¬†to¬†be¬†a¬†captain.¬†What¬†I¬†know¬†is¬†that¬†I’m¬†bound¬†to¬†be¬†great¬†and¬†all¬†this¬†crap¬†is¬†not¬†part¬†of¬†it¬†supposed¬†to¬†be.¬†I¬†am¬†strayed¬†away¬†from¬†the¬†creative¬†path¬†I¬†longed¬†to¬†travel.¬†I’m¬†strayed¬†away¬†from¬†my¬†corporate¬†dreams…¬†of¬†drinking¬†coffee¬†while¬†discussing¬†our¬†next¬†project,¬†of¬†living¬†the¬†cosmopolitan¬†life¬†and¬†of¬†working¬†in¬†a¬†creative¬†environment¬†where¬†my¬†works¬†are¬†commended¬†and¬†my¬†leadership¬†is¬†recognized.¬†A¬†life¬†that¬†I’m¬†bound¬†to¬†be…

Sometimes¬†as¬†I¬†looked¬†back¬†of¬†how¬†hard¬†I¬†really¬†worked¬†for¬†my¬†degree¬†and¬†those¬†awards¬†I¬†used¬†to¬†get¬†I¬†feel¬†so¬†sad¬†of¬†where¬†I¬†am¬†right¬†now.¬†I¬†am¬†a¬†prodigy,¬†a¬†child¬†full¬†of¬†wonder,¬†a¬†person¬†my¬†nieces¬†and¬†nephews¬†idolize…¬†used¬†to¬†be¬†full¬†of¬†potentials¬†and¬†dreams¬†now¬†a¬†bum¬†who¬†loves¬†to¬†chill,¬†who¬†drinks¬†a¬†lot¬†of¬†coffee¬†and¬†beer¬†and¬†sleeps¬†a¬†lot.¬†My¬†life¬†is¬†slowly¬†fading¬†away¬†from¬†me…¬†I¬†no¬†longer¬†recognized¬†myself.¬†I¬†am¬†programmed¬†to¬†stay¬†where¬†I¬†am¬†because¬†I¬†have¬†family¬†issues¬†to¬†fix,¬†my¬†mother¬†needs¬†me¬†and¬†work¬†financed¬†my¬†graduate¬†school¬†studies¬†which¬†by¬†the¬†way¬†is¬†my¬†ticket¬†to¬†success.

Oh well.

I¬†have¬†no¬†idea¬†how¬†I’ll¬†ended¬†up¬†to¬†be.¬†I¬†have¬†no¬†idea¬†until¬†when¬†can¬†I¬†hold¬†on.¬†I’m¬†like¬†an¬†animal¬†trapped¬†in¬†a¬†cage¬†looking¬†at¬†the¬†possibilities¬†behind¬†the¬†bars¬†that¬†locked¬†me¬†out¬†from¬†being¬†great.¬†I¬†cannot¬†just¬†go¬†out¬†and¬†explore¬†knowing¬†that¬†there¬†are¬†people¬†who¬†needs¬†me.¬†I¬†cannot¬†be¬†selfish…¬†I¬†just¬†can’t.

I¬†don’t¬†know¬†what’s¬†the¬†moral story of¬†my¬†blog¬†post.¬†Maybe¬†all¬†I¬†can¬†really¬†say¬†right¬†now¬†is¬†to¬†trust¬†God¬†and¬†his¬†will.¬†He¬†has¬†plans¬†for¬†us¬†and¬†where¬†I¬†am¬†right¬†now¬†might¬†be¬†just¬†a¬†prelude¬†into¬†something¬†better.¬†I¬†cannot¬†just¬†lose¬†hope¬†right¬†now.¬†I’m¬†an¬†optimist,¬†I¬†see¬†great¬†things¬†on¬†difficult¬†situations.¬†I¬†know¬†I’m¬†bound¬†to¬†be¬†great¬†and¬†it’s¬†all¬†about¬†perfect¬†timings.¬†I’m¬†in¬†doldrums¬†waiting¬†for¬†something¬†to¬†happen.¬†I’ll¬†enjoy¬†this¬†journey¬†full¬†of¬†uncertainty…¬†I’m¬†getting¬†older¬†and¬†older¬†as¬†time¬†passes¬†by¬†so¬†might¬†as¬†well¬†live¬†my¬†life¬†to¬†the¬†fullest¬†that¬†I¬†can¬†and¬†whatever¬†situation¬†I’m¬†at.

Oh well.

I’ll¬†keep¬†on¬†knowing¬†myself,¬†my¬†passion…¬†my¬†dreams¬†because¬†it¬†will¬†be¬†my¬†starting¬†point¬†to¬†my¬†road¬†to¬†greatness.

 
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Posted by on January 12, 2014 in inspirational, journal, life, Life Blog

 

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