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Tag Archives: poetry

Attachments

I hate being attached to a place, event, memories and people. I have been too emotional in dealing with separation and will take me days to fully recover. I don’t understand why but it’s just how I am. No matter how strong, ruthless and independent I can be, I still fall for memories. I appreciate people who puts in a lot of effort to know and stick with me. Sometimes I fear losing them but I still lose people along the way, I’m still alive but broken. To sum up my thoughts for tonight, lemme write a poem. 

Just in Time


You didn’t come in crashing waves

but you walk in like a theft

Broke the bricks one built for years

and let the sun shine through the cracks of disbelief. 


The pain disappeared as time passes 

Cold nights became a place of solace

To trust time is such a great risk

so as to believe once again


The future did promise uncertainties 

and today seems to be a game of madness 

where the past became a lesson

and the present is full of wonder and misery


The verge of the cliff is enticing 

and my heart wanted to jump once again

I wanted to love the process

I really do. 


What’s in store for me is still a mystery

and the crash might end what’s left

The fall has no assurance of life 

after a series of death. 


In this parallel world,

not all are meant to last.

I have walked into the storm already

and I have no plans of coming back. 



S. C. L. 


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Posted by on September 25, 2017 in personal

 

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Paglaya



Hindi mabilang na buntong hininga
Tuwing maalala ang nakaraan
Kinubling kasiyahan at katotohanan
Dahil tayo ay suntok sa buwan

Pilit kong tinakbuhan
Sarili’y nagbalat kayo
Himig nitong puso’y tinago
Baka tayo pa ay magbago

Namulat sa realidad
Na walang ako, walang ikaw
Higit sa lahat walang tayo
Kahit hilingin ko man ito sa bituin

Tadhanang mapaglaro
Damdaming hindi mabiro
Umasang baka sa paghintay
Hiling ay matupad kahit papano

Araw at buwan lumipas
Hindi ko inakalang nabulag
Ang puso kong puno ng lumbay
Mundo na nawalan ng kulay

Mata’y minulat
Katotohanang dinilat
Pinalaya ang sariling nabaon
Sa pag-ibig na nilipasan ng panahon

Sa aking paglaya ngayon
Binuo ako ulit ng pagkakataon
Bukas ay haharapin
Sarili’y unting unting babangon.

-S.C.L.

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2017 in personal

 

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She Wolf.

My heart is full and I would want to write my thoughts but I got a problem though, it’s hard to express it all in plain sentences so I opted to use metaphors in describing what I feel. I just need to write it before I burst into pieces, devour my thoughts for it feed me too long enough to take my sanity away.

I would want to take this opportunity to raise a toast to the broken ones who no longer had hope in love. I’m too broken to believe anymore.

The night is too young as of the moment but I’m daydreaming my own darkness whilst I’m all alone in a beach watching the full moon as it casts its light to everything that surrounds me. I can feel the eerieness but I am born alpha, no fear of the unknown. 

The chill runs down my spine and I wanted the darkness to eat me… slowly, until nothing is left. I want to escape the pangs of being alone in a beautiful night only to realized that I’m immune to the feeling. 

A broken wolf no longer believes that the morning will come. She looks at the moon and cry, cry until no sound can be heard from her. All those cries can be heard from a nearby town and sending goosebumps to everyone. You can feel its pain, a dying hope totally drowned by miseries. She howls to the Moon who’s million miles away from her, the moon who gave her light is also the moon that takes away his hope in certain days. The moon that is shy on certain days and would just leave a smirk in the sky. The moon she longs for is the moon that shines bright to other creatures of the night.

—————————–

I opened my eyes only to see sheer beauty. The darkness invaded me and I am comforted by the shadows of trees behind me. I continue to watch the moon from the horizon assuring me that I’ll be fine. 

I guess I will be fine. I will be fine without you. Without anyone. Don’t give me the light when you don’t plan to stay. Don’t disturb me for I will not be moved. 

I am a broken piece of the past and no one can restore me. I ripped my soul and my heart for my words. My words are my pride and my soul died too many times to believe that there’s hope in love. 

Au revoir. 🐺

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2017 in personal

 

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Sana, Tayo. 

Di ko lubos maisip kung kailan kita minahal     Bigla lang itong nangyari at di ko dinasal.        Isang araw ako ay nagising na lamang                  Na ikaw na ang laman nitong isipan.

Pilit kong pinigilan ang aking nararamdaman
pero sa bawat paglaban ako ay nauwing talunan.
Ang ngiti mo ang siyang naging lakas
at tanging hiling ko ay kailanman tayo ay di magwakas.

Mapagtukso ang tadhana at pagkakataon
Pinagkalayo tayo ng panahon
Puso ko’y takot na takot sabihin
ang mga salitang sa panaginip ko lang kayang bigkasin.

Pilit kong humayo’t magpakalayo layo
dahil alam kong kailanman walang tayo
Ako ay isang kaibigan lamang na umasa
Sa iyong pagmamahal na akala ko ay may pag-asa.

Ikaw ang paksa sa bawat tula na aking sinulat.
Dahil ang pait sa aking puso ay iyong minulat.
Paalam kaibigan,
Mahal pa rin kita.

 
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Posted by on November 30, 2016 in personal

 

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Friday Morning Solitude.

image

He was the thought behind unfinished sentences and discarded blog posts. I write several sentences until my eyes swell and a lump in my throat bothers me. I hit the discard post over save and look at the screen of my phone like a kid deprived of her favorite chocolates. I pray this feeling ends soon because it kills me. It’s like waiting for a moment that you know will never happen but you keep on waiting. You keep on believing that you are awesome and that he should see that like how others see you. You believe that you’re smart, you’re nice and you’re the best he could have. You know you’re worth the words so you choose to wait until he realize that you are the answered prayer. You are his the one.

It was always a battle between justifying my feelings when I know it’ll never be justified at all. I tried to let go countless times but I’m still here stuck with a realization that I’ll never be at peace. I keep on cutting the weeds that suffocate me trying to free myself from his entirety but I can’t. I just can’t.

I look at my phone several times waiting for his text just like how it was before. I keep on wishing nothing actually changed but it changes as months pass by. There’s awkwardness and sadness because the person you thought will never leave you sees you as an option and no longer the priority. Suddenly I keep on asking myself if I’m indeed an asshole. I started to question my worth. I started to doubt myself, started to feel that I’m not enough, started to feel so small in his world. I decided to step back and the loneliness is haunting. I trusted him, told him everything about my life and now I felt that I shared too much of me to someone who does not want to be with me anymore. He’s already keeping a part of himself from me and that makes me actually feel like I can no longer be the person anyone can trust.

I wish to be saved by someone else’s smile and courage to blurt out those words that will awake me from my nightmares and daydreams. I know how hard I prayed to God that I’ll find someone who matches my kind of crazy. He should be honest enough to tell me that I complement his personality. Someone who’ll make me realize that I’m waiting for someone who does not value me because I’m not rich, I’m not beautiful and I’m not smart enough. I’m in limbo of emotions and it’s killing me.

Here’s to my own tragedy… untold, half-written and full of unnecessary pain.

 
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Posted by on February 26, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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10/08 – Day 320: Standing Still

I stand still waiting for a bus to work every night.
I stand still waiting for the life I wanted to happen.
I stand still thinking of what the future brings.
I stand still not knowing what will happen next in every decision I need to make.
I stand still in life because I don’t know where to go.

 
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Posted by on October 28, 2012 in life

 

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