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Monthly Archives: March 2017

Never Have I Ever

Have you ever tried to play the game called Never Have I Ever during your random drinking session with your friends on a boring weekend night? The rule is simple though, prepare your vodka and beer because you might just take that shot.

I had my shot in living a life away from my own comfort zone. I felt so different right now compared to the way my mind and soul function a couple of weeks ago. I guess it was the break my soul needs. Now, let me play my Never Have I ever game… 

The rule of the game started with the players getting into a circle and all you need to say is Never Have I Ever wherein anyone who experienced it must drink. 

  • Never have I ever been to Manila alone at night.
  • Never have I ever eaten a Whooper inside Burger King.
  • Never have I ever ride an Uber pool taxi.
  • Never have I ever stayed in a shared hotel room.
  • Never have I ever eaten a complimentary restaurant breakfast alone.
  • Never have I ever shared an Uber ride with a guy named Leonard.
  • Never have I ever been to Uptown Mall in BGC.

    • Never have I ever been convinced to buy an anti-aging cream that is worth more than 8k.
    • Never have I ever watch a movie in Manila.

      • Never have I ever been in love with Beauty and the Beast.
      • Never have I ever use Google maps for directions.
      • Never have I ever been to The Palace Pool Club.

        • Never have I ever stroll around the busy Streets of Bonifacio Global City.

          • Never have I ever been to Art Bar in BGC.

            • Never have I ever been to Market Market.
            • Never have I ever been to SM Aura Premiere.

              • Never have I ever been to SM Mall of Asia.
              • Never have I ever talked to a cab driver on how he learned to speak English even if he’s educational attainment is an elementary undergraduate.
              • Never have I ever talked to a Chinese inside an Uber pool taxi.
              • Never have I ever travel alone for 4 days in Luzon.
              • Never have I ever travel with a group​ of strangers.

              • Never have I ever been to Quezon Province and Masbate.

              • Never have I ever experienced traveling against big waves.
              • Never have I ever been to an island alone.
              • Never have I ever been to 5 beautiful islands in just 2 days.
              • Never have I ever sleep without showering and peeing just because it costs too much for a gallon of water.

                • Never have I ever appreciated the simple life since time immemorial.

                • Never have I ever had serious life talks with random strangers turned to friends.
                • Never have I ever watch a sky full of stars.
                • Never have I ever experienced paying a random person to charge my phone and power bank.
                • Never have I ever done something crazy such as cliff jumping.


                • Never have I ever been to a sandbar that is so beautiful surrounded by clear waters.

                  • Never have I ever felt so free and empowered.

                  • Never have I ever been lost in EDSA.
                  • Never have I ever been inside a sleep capsule. 

                  • Never have I ever listen to someone talking and just hearing his thoughts.
                  • Never have I ever been to Army Navy in NAIA.
                  • Never have I ever help a stranger connect to WiFi and see in her eyes how happy she is because she’s now able to contact her loved ones in Zamboanga.
                  • Never have I ever thought that bad ideas can actually produce great memories. 

                    Solitude taught me how to live my life with a sheer appreciation of who I am.  For years I always seek to know more about myself in order to live a life of purpose. I am self-sufficient with an in depth knowledge of my advantages and frailties. Last weekend I did some recalibration not that I don’t do it when I’m lost but it felt so necessary while I’m traveling. A lot of realizations came into my mind and it was an eye opener. It’s about time for me to set some deadlines.  I cannot afford to waste my life waiting and be hopeful for nothing. I cannot live my life forever in a corner with my demons lurking. I cannot live my life without enjoying this beautiful fleeting moments. Even if some circumstances and people are exasperating and making me lose my faith in humanity, I wanted to be the difference. My purpose is to make my stay worthwhile by helping others and making those who’ve lost their faith suddenly feel the hope the humanity needs.

                    One wise friend once told me to try something out just to know if it is for you.

                    Have you tried something you’re afraid of for the first time? I guess it’s about time you play the never have I ever game and see how it’ll change your life for good.

                     
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                    Posted by on March 25, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    The Haunted. 

                    I woke up with a desire to write my thoughts and prayed that what I feel right now be my reason for living. 

                    As I squander my thoughts and forcing myself to remember my dreams, I came across a realization — I am still optimistic. It has been weeks of constant wondering and battling my recurring sadness. Depression is something not all people totally understand and I don’t seek to be understood. Some may wonder why people like us suffer from such when the world is actually cruel to others too. All of us have our own demons and we battle it one by one — some end up victorious and some are being dragged to darkness and lose it.  I’m somewhere in between. 

                    My life has always been in between extremes and I usually open my arms wide and scream to God to take it all away. I usually surrender before I lose the argument of why me of all the people in the world?  Life is such a tease and I’m at my wits end. 

                    You read articles about depression its causes and how we cope.  You can seek professional help or like my case I battled it alone because I fear to be judge like a psychopath. I don’t need medication, I need an outlet. I kept myself busy reading self-help books trying to find purpose in this life but as days pass by I still feel incomplete. Life is pointless and I don’t actually know why I am still living. I live a routine life, trying to break it once in a while yet all that I am and all that I did is just something dispensable. The world will survive without me. 

                    Depression for me is not just an illness but a state when you no longer find meaning in everything no matter how beautiful your life is in the eyes of others. You don’t know the battle we constantly face, you don’t know how it feels to live without a purpose. 

                    As I watch every sunset and sunrise, I long for that day when everything finally makes sense. I long for the day when I’m excited to wake up and live. Every day feels the same, I keep myself busy with work or hangout with great set of friends and I end up alone in my room thinking…  until when will I feel such emptiness? 

                    I write my thoughts hoping to inspire those who are battling or find people who suffered and survived. I wish not to die without feeling alive. People like me ain’t ordinary. You need to dig deeper, to meet my demons and play with them. I don’t open up to people not because I fear to be judged but because not all understand. I survived it before by not losing my faith and right now I’m breathing because I don’t have a better choice. I hope one day I’ll stumble upon answers to my questions. I hope to fill the cup of madness once again — to live my life like the way it was before adulthood happened,  a life when I’m not haunted by my thoughts and just plainly inspired of what the future may bring. 

                     
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                    Posted by on March 13, 2017 in personal

                     

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