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An Open Letter to Digong Duterte

I am just a nobody, part of the many who threw a pity party knowing you won today.

My heart is breaking while I’m writing this and I know you don’t care about me and my rants because again I’m a nobody.

I have ranted on several posts telling the world that I’m not going to support you and your endeavors because I am such an asshole, a disengaged Filipino who will criticize and find your flaws. You are not my president and will never be. The majority may have rooted for you because they are fools believing that you are the change they’ve wanted to see when in fact the change we need should have started within ourselves. I don’t expect you to give a damn about my blog right now for this is solely written to express my thoughts because I got this freedom. You got a good strategist with an aim to make people see that there’s something fishy going on and that we need the change in order to progress. I am not a 100% fan of the recent administration but since I voted for Aquino last presidential election I stood by my president’s side and believed each word he said, I no longer question some discrepancies not because I don’t care but because I felt the progress especially that I started to engage in stocks investment. I see more of the positives than the negatives compared to GMA’s administration with more jobs and a growing BPO industry where I’m at right now.  I was confident of his leadership, the kind of leadership I imbibed — transformational. Our economy boosted and performed better for the past years as seen in the Philippine Stock Exchange index. I commend the recent administration for doing what is need to be done to ensure economic progress. I am thankful for the great things and let the bad be areas for improvement as we are still a work in progress.

I am closed-minded, principled and stubborn individual. My pride does not easily accept defeat but I’m not going to be a scumbag to this government. I am just  the reason why this country is not where it supposed to be because I won’t be engaged to support you on all your endeavors. Digong, I am just one and I apologize if I am not impressed by your works. My opinions don’t matter for you’ve got millions of people behind your back and should be there for you especially when you fail to be the change they all wanted to see. You’re a foul-mouthed, rugged and no class person. You may have the credentials but you don’t have the right to insult other people, ambassadors and even our Pope for christsake! You are playing God. Yes, you are executing your plans and reinforcing the law but justice ain’t served well during your reign as Davao’s mayor.

Let me enumerate my reasons why I didn’t vote for you:

1).  Human Rights?  You Don’t Care Much.

On a national scale, your will to enforce the law may not work as much as it is a huge success in your city. If you violated the law, you’ll enforced it right there because you  don’t care much about rights of crime suspects and other Constitution-guaranteed rights.

You support extrajudicial killings and summary executions which are actually unconstitutional. You also admitted on one of your interviews about being associated to the Davao Death Squad.  Oh well.

2).The Threat of Revolutionary Government

I fear that your association with the NPA may create havoc instead of unity. With your strong affiliation towards them, I can smell chaos. I am not into a government that threatens peace and order. I am praying that this won’t end to a bloody regime because people will then again fight for freedom. I will fight for freedom Digong, because I know I am a responsible citizen and I don’t want to be caged by rules that would portend my rights.

3). Womanizer

Enough said.

4).  Snide Remarks

You always get away with it by delivering it in a way that it sounded more of a joke. I am not buying it Mayor as I am a master of sarcasm as well. What I cannot take are your comments about the Pope, the ambassadors from Mexico, and a challenge imposed to cut ties with Australia and USA. Can you just think what you’re supposed to say first? Please.

5). Personal Biases

I admit that my choice was influenced by my own personal biases. I hate your posture, the way you carry yourself in public and your proud demeanor. A typical leader for me should be prim and proper, somewhat presentable to the public. You are the complete opposite but since your the president I got to live with it.

Mayor, I pray for our country today. I am frustrated with the turnout not because you won but Miriam Defensor Santiago didn’t even make it to the top 3. She is one overqualified president supposed to be, a president we never had and will never be.

I voted for Mar Roxas because he had the platform and good track record. Geez.

I am sorry for being such an a**hole who will not support your plans but I challenge you to prove me wrong. Enlighten me that your administration is the hope that this nation needs without sacrificing people’s rights and our democracy. I am not into Federalism anymore as much as I’ve wanted it years ago for a lot of reasons. I want you to be the leader your supporters hoped for. I’ll be here doing my part as a good citizen of this country and in your end do everything as president of this “dying nation” as what some are expecting.

Regardless of my closed mindedness, I concede. You are now our president, sucks but I need to embrace such change. Don’t be a disappointment to those who believes in your prowess. I challenge you to prove me wrong and to destroy my biases.

Prove me wrong Mayor, prove me wrong. God bless the Philippines!  God bless us all.

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Posted by on May 11, 2016 in personal

 

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Simala Church: Wishes Do Come True

“Have you ever thought of someone like you’ve never thought of someone before?

During my recent trip, I decided to actually find myself and get connected on what my inner voice is saying.  I’ve been blinded for quite some time trying to push on some things that are not even working out and I’m talking not just about relationships but career as well. I’ve been out of tune for quite some time and still in search of life’s great meaning. So I went to Simala Church, one of the most miraculous churches in the country wherein most of those who believe got their wishes come true. I must say that I’m not really a devotee nor religious. I can describe myself as someone who believes in a Supreme Being but not a total fan of Christian traditions. I don’t even read all chapters in the bible. I just believe in God and in goodness to others. To cut the long story short, I decided to take my chances in Simala. I need divine intervention to sort my chaotic life. I know I needed this trip.

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Last March 12, I flew to Cebu and rushed to the South Cebu Terminal to catch the bus going to Sibonga where Simala Shrine is located.  Fare costs at around P63 if I recall it perfectly for an air-conditioned bus. It’s a 2-hour and a half trip where I get the chance to use Google maps for the first time. I am a bit alarmed since the church is only open until 6pm and I was on the bus at 3pm due to heavy traffic from Mactan Airport to the bus terminal.

I am glad that I was able to arrived in the nick of time. Habal habals are available on the main road and they’ll be the ones to take you to the shrine for 20 pesos. It was a perfect time for me to contemplate especially that the shrine is so beautiful at dusk.

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I lit my colored candles for a specific purpose and prayed.

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I lit 5 candles because I know I needed it.

Black ( for souls ):  My uncle recently died during my mom’s birthday and I am surprised at the same time saddened of his death.  He is really funny and very nice to me. I love him so much.

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I also prayed for my other uncle who died last November. I asked for forgiveness since I was not able to provide him all he wants. I am still starting to save up for my future and been into a lot of financial problems due to family matters that I need to resolve.

Green (prosperity ):  I wanted to be financially stable and start to work on my future. I know I needed this to provide my family’s wants.

Gold (health): I prayed for my mom’s health to be better as I want her to still see her future grandchild. I must admit I’m not into getting married as of the moment but I wanted my mom to at least be able to see me stable and raise a family I can call my own.

White ( Guidance ): My life seems to be pointing nowhere and until now I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m starting to give up and surrender the steering wheel to God for I am headed into damnation. It’s been like this for years already.

Red ( Love ) : Being single starts to be uncomfortable at this age. I’m starting to question my own worth, my personality and the likes. It’s exasperating to keep on thinking what I need to change in order to attract someone. I’ve keep on praying and wishing that someone will see me more than a friend but God keeps on denying those prayers. It’s been years full of false hopes but still nothing. I start asking myself why, why am I not worth the words?  Am I not good enough?  The belief I have on myself has been clouded with uncertainties. I questioned my being. I started to feel the blues plus the fear of growing up alone. I decided to surrender this time, to lay my hopes unto God’s feet and let him decide on what’s best for me. I prayed to find him, the one who’ll make me believe that it’s okay to love and be love.

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It is one perfect view to indulge into while my thoughts drift into nothingness. Various thoughts were clouding my mind and I just let it happen, I let those thoughts overflow because I know it’s my needed break.

Travelling back to Cebu City made me feel fulfilled because I was able to go to Simala alone. It’s true that in order for us to connect we must disconnect for the mean time.

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Travelling alone gives you the chance to know more about yourself, it makes you feel so independent and brave. It’s a tough act to follow and I want to experience it all over again. I never trusted myself that much for quite some time due to fear that I might get lost.

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It’s a chaotic world we got here and I realized that I should slow down and feel all the adventures as well as my misadventures. I should be positive and trust God for he knows what is best for me.

For now, I give up. I’ll let him take the lead.

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I never thought of someone as much as I’ve thought of someone right now. Is he the one?  I hope so.

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2016 in personal, travel

 

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Be Careful What You Wish For.

I was so dead tired last Saturday that I slept from 1pm – 2am. I woke up seeing missed calls from my former graduate school professor so I decided to text her and apologized for not being able to answer it. She told me that one of the biggest corporation in the sugar industry is currently hiring an Organizational Development Manager — a position that I really would love to have since it is more focus on improvement of current company processes by conducting research studies. I know I really want a career revamp since I feel that I am not really making progress anymore. The BPO industry is really dynamic and I owe a lot of my wisdom from my years of experience. I never knew I will last more than 5 years in this industry with my sanity intact. Change is inevitable and just like technology it is so drastic. If you are not resilient enough, you will surely decide to move out and find a company that would not test your patience. I love and at the same time hate my job for no apparent reasons, probably because most of the time I get too bored of doing same stuff but my salary surely pays the bill so it’s one motivation why I chose to stay.

Now, I got an opportunity to kiss my job goodbye and try a new adventure. I have been a YOLO kid with a Peter Pan complex. I mean as much as I want change in my career I am also scared of taking my life seriously. At 25, I want to fix my life but there’s this fear that I may no longer have the freedom to do what I want just like the way it was before. The BPO industry is so diversified unlike any other industries that we have. People of all shapes, sizes and ages are working together without any discrimination unlike some other industries. I mean this has been my comfort zone and I know I have been dying to move out since day 180 of my stay in this industry. I finished my bachelor’s degree in Computer Science yet I was not able to practice it at all. I decided to take up Masters in Business Administration and partly applying some of my learning in dealing with my colleagues and subordinates but it is still not enough. My heart seems to long for something I cannot still decipher what except my endless desire to write, to travel and to learn from other people’s way of dealing with life. My interest right now is more geared towards the complexities of human emotions and how each of us battle our daily lives. It is really more in psychology and humanities. I am a complete f*cked up, I know. I am strayed away from the path I traveled but I guess I am really learning more about myself.

I still cannot decide whether I will apply or not. I mean it is far from home prolly a 2 – hour travel plus it might require some seriousness and discipline which is scary but I know I can deal with that. It’s just that the mere thought of nailing it bites inside my heart because it means that I will be leaving my home. I know I have been whining for the past years of how bored or how monotonous my life can be sometimes but it’s not really the work, it’s the people I have been working for quite some time already that makes leaving quite difficult to imagine. I will surely miss working at night and having lunch at 2am in the morning. It made me live in New York timezone. I usually sleep in the morning and wake up in the afternoon. This kind of life that I used to live seems to be hard to forget. I mean, I was once an innocent noob who does not know how crazy the real world can be but now, I have become an independent woman who thrives hard in order to survive and regain my sanity. The real world is so daunting unlike the way we imagined it to be back when we are still learning everything in high school or in college.

I know I wanted this, I wished for this but I never knew that it will happen all of a sudden. I might think about it more and probably hear the catch first before deciding to take a leap of faith. I just want to be sure and be practical with my decision as I don’t want to leave my chill life as much as possible.

Here’s to another sleepless night, I hope my decision will be right!

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Battling Quarter Life Crisis and More.

And so, let’s just say I am trying to be fine despite all the odds and eccentrities of my life. I am not really exaggerating for the nth time. I apologize for being such a dope today.

I have come to realized that I am indeed suffering from quarter life crisis. It’s not like other crisis you know such as inflation rate resulting to economic crisis or you not having the budget to buy luxury items and declare to the world that you are suffering from financial crisis, it’s the kind of crisis that affect those twenty something people wondering on their “what’s next?” in life.

I guess I am normal since I am going through this phase of my life. I feel a little shitty, honestly. I just don’t know what to do with my life aside of course from YOLO-ing since 23 and just going with the flow but this come what may kind of life is not really the life I want to live. I want more out of it. I recently got my Master’s degree in Business Administration and I should be proud of it since I was able to juggle my work and school but I just feel fine about it, no biggie while others are screaming “Congratulations!”. Should I really be proud? I don’t think so. I am plainly weird because I don’t like any fuss and I don’t like bragging those little milestones in my life. I just hate too much attention.

Anyways, let’s go back to this quarter life crisis thing. Let me share to you an article I stumbled upon after I crazily googled quarter life crisis. It’s found on this website: http://allgroanup.com/adult/25-signs-quarter-life-crisis/

I want to comment on each signs. Here you go:

25 Signs You are Having a Quarter Life Crisis

1.  You glare at your cat in the morning as you get ready for work and say, “God, I wish I had your life.” — I even say it to any animals who just simply chill and not worrying about bills and finances. Geez, go get a job cat and realized how miserable life can be.2.  “Am I ever going to feel like myself again?” Is something you ask. Every day. — EVERY SINGLE DAY! I apologize for screaming but I can relate to this, I usually ask myself if I’ll be able to feel alive again, you know sunshiney – happy – full of daisies kind of me. 

3.  A Bon Iver or John Mayer song comes on and you start crying. By yourself, or around friends. Or in the middle of a coffee shop as strangers slowly usher their children away. — Any song that I can totally relate to, I cry privately. 

4.  “When is life going to feel like it’s supposed to?” Is something you ask. Every day. — When will I be totally happy? Again… sunshiney-happy-full-of-daisies kind of me. 

5.  You’re reading this article right now because you Googled: “Quarter Life Crisis?” — OH SHIT!

6.  Visualizing yourself 15 years from now doing your bosses job makes you throw up a little in your mouth. — This is so true.

7.  You’re having arguments with your mom again about cleaning your bathroom and being home at a reasonable hour. — No arguments, it’s just me battling my patience because my mom seems to be affected by old age. It scares me a lot knowing I might lose her one day and I’ll be alone. 

8.  Your monthly routine of expenses being greater than your income is dawning on you as a serious problem. — Tell me more about it. 

9.  You’re having arguments with your newly cemented spouse and/or roommate that sound awfully like the arguments your parents used to have, that you swore you’d never have, yet are having. — Cannot relate to this.

10. You’ve moved six times in the last four years.

B.  You’ve had six jobs in the last four years.

C.  You’ve had six boyfriends in the last four years.

D.  You’ve had six girlfriends in the last four years.

E.  You’ve had no boyfriends/girlfriends in the last six years and you’re scared your boyfriending orgirlfriending is broken. —– I’ll be forever alone with 8 cats and 5 dogs. 

11.  You’d pay top dollar for a moment of clarity. — I am willing to pay thousand bucks just for me to be able to see the path that will lead me to happiness and fulfillment.

12.  That young mom with the crazy hair and stains on her shirt and bags under her eyes that kind of smells like rotten milk who you rolled your eyes at throughout college. Yeah, well you roll your stroller into a coffee shop after waking up six times with your baby and see a college girl look you up and down with that same disgust. And it takes everything within you not to walk over to that snooty college princess and punch her in the face. — Oh God, NOOOO! I think I’ll be single forever even if I adore kids.

13.  Your part-time, temporary job at Starbucks has lasted three and ½ years. — I haven’t had the chance to work in Starbucks but I would love too…

14.  You binge on buying brand names to try and cover up that you’re broke. — I am still not into mainstream but I do buy stuff even if I am broke.

15.  You find yourself repelled and compelled by church at the same time. You ask God for help one day and then you’re yelling at him the next. Your faith is a roller coaster and you’re pretty sure your seat belt is about to come undone. — I am so sorry God, I am such a stubborn brat. 

16.  You see so clearly the two roads in front of you. A life of comfort and a life of risk. And you’re not sure you have the right car or directions to go down either one. — Indeed.

17.  You surf the internet so much at work every day that you literally hit a point where you don’t know what else to search for. — AMEN TO THIS. Life at work sometimes bore me.

18.  You laughed, and cried, when you read 21 Secrets for your 20’s. —GEEZ.

19.  Making a budget is completely debilitating.

Even thinking about doing your taxes. Debilitating.

Buying groceries. Debilitating.

Doing dishes. Cooking dinner. Looking for a job. Calling your mom back. Calling your best friend back. Picking up the phone at all. DEBILI-FRICKING-TATING.

So you watch four seasons in a row of _________, while Facebook stalking exes and enemies. — You bet. I rather do the FB stalking and read through blogs of my friends and enemies. My finances make me sick.

20.  The phrase you dread hearing the most at work is, “Congratulations, you’re getting a promotion.” — Oh my!

21.  You feel like every time you’re a bridesmaid/groomsman, an angel loses it’s wings. — I KNOW RIGHT?!!! I am saying hi to my spinster self all over again and cry over their beautiful vows. Life is sooooo damn unfair.

22.  You dream about going back and punching yourSmug-College-Self who was so sure had all the answers. — True. Just when you thought life is so easy huh? Well, IT IS NOT. IT’S NOT!!! It’s damn  not!!!! wooooozah!!!!

23.  You seek out a mentor for answers one week and you avoid them like the 8th grader with bad BO, the next. — Grrr… damn right, this list is so damn right.

24.  You have no idea where to go for answers. — damn right again!

Yet

25. You’re 99.7% sure a road-trip would fix everything. — DEFINITELY… but where to old soul, where to?

So here I go again, I am constantly battling this life crisis without knowing the actual answers on how to resolve such phase. I have a good paying and stable job. I got my degree in Masters in Business Administration. I am single and I am hating it even if I have personal space issues. I don’t know how to overcome my life problems. Oh God, help me out here!

Sighs… and more sighs.

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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What I Did Today…

No fancy lunch or dinner… I choose to be alone in my room while my family watches Pacman versus Alghieri which of course is another stupid fight because I know Pacman will definitely win it.

I opened my bedside table and rekindled my childhood years. The things I decided to forget were actually well documented. I realized that I’ve been lost for quite some time already… I’ve survived because of pride. I’m alone because of pride… because I’ll never tell the man I love how much he means to me. I’m afraid of getting hurt due to the shards of my broken heart.

2005:

11/23/2005

It’s my 16th birthday. Well it’s not that great. I’m 16 and it’s really boring. Lord, thanks for this day. It’s been 16 years of struggling between me and the imperfections of the world. It’s hard but you didn’t hesitate to light my path and showing me the wonders of your creation, for replenishing my soul and inspiring my life with your word.


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Thank you for all the blessings and for the problems that you gave me because it made me into a person full of strength, courage and hope.  Thanks Lord.

Wow, never thought I’m actually mature at 16. I’m proud of myself. 🙂

2006:

Surprisingly I found this letter I wrote 8 years ago.

I’m sorry.

I already paid the consequences of my actions. I suffered a lot. I shed buckets of tears. I wrote a lot. I remembered last March 2006, I thought everything was fine between the two of us after you congratulated me before my graduation day. Comes June 2006, we saw each other yet we never said hi. We’re like strangers.

…. Insert all the bitter stuffs here ”

Years have passed. 2014 was the year that changed it all. I was able to find that courage to ask you questions I dreaded the most. We’re able to fix the friendship. We’re able to talk about how crazy our so called relationship was. It might be a product of a terrible lie but we both know the emotions were real and I told you how I loved you so much it took me hell lot of time to finally forgive myself after what I did to you. Thank you for forgiving me too. You’ve been the best pain I had endured for quite some time because it made be better and wiser.

2007:

I also wrote this commandments of Love last May 27,2007…

1. Thou shall love myself above all.
2. Thou shall not assume or hope when someone I think is “the one” comes along.
3. Thou shall look at the physical attributes first but what makes me stick is the goodness of the soul.
4.Thou shall think thoroughly before deciding something.
5. Thou shall court my family first before thyself.
6. Thou shall respect and dig what I want so as I to him.
7. Thou shall be open minded, understanding and loving all the time.
8.Thou shall prioritize my studies before love or thou shall prioritize my work and my passion.
9. Thou shall learn to accept each other’s flaws and indifferences.
10.Thou shall not be jealous or insecure, must develop one’s sense of trust.

No wonder I’m turning out to be an old maid.

It was somewhere in 2007 when I decided to fully embraced the positives. I got to admit, teenage life really sucks. I’ve been an emo kid who listens to Fall Out Boys and other Punk artists. I’m disgusted now of my own drama before. If only I can turn back the hours I could have not wasted my teen years wallowing how shitty my life was. Suicidal thoughts…  It was never ending yet I don’t have the courage to do it. Good thing though. Life’s still worth living despite the jaded and frustrating times.

At a very young age, my self awareness is really great. I acknowledged the fact that I’m egoistic. I live to feed my soul, to bring pride and worth to myself. My world used to revolve on achievements, good grades, service to others and doing my passions. It was exhausting yet it was fulfilling. I also acknowledged the fact that at 16 I’m not really good in expressing my emotions. I write my feelings and rarely talk about it. Blogging and writing my thoughts make me happy. I would prefer people to call me a nerd than a bitch.

2011:

05/09/2011

Dear God,

—– is in a relationship. Well, people around me are except me. I always pray for that one special person to finally come, for that someone I’ll spend forever with. Heaven forbids I’ll grow up alone.

God, I hope he’s worth the wait. I trust you and please grant me the patience as I wait for him while I become a better version of myself.

Carol. 

— I’m deep.  Yeah,  3 years have passed and I’m still praying the same thing. Gugreaaaat! 

2013

03/24/2013

Dear 9 month older self,

I wrote because I love to write or maybe because I got inspired by watching Perks of Being a Wallflower. Things are getting rough right now and work still sucks. I’m actually confused if I’ll still give it another shot.

I’m lost.
I still don’t know what to do with my life. I’ve got plans but certainly don’t know where to start. I want to be a wedding planner, graphic designer, blogger, team leader and the list goes on and on. I hope that by the time you’re reading this letter you’ve already started on what you really wanted to be.

Love.
Oh well. I must say things are going well between me and ——-. We’re not together but he’s special. I hope I’ll be able to ask him the questions I longed to ask him. If he’s not the one, I hope I’ll be able to find someone because it’s been too long already and it’s about time to be inspired and happy. I hope things will turn out to be great between the two of us, I really hope so.

Family.
I hope nothing bad will happen. 

Old self, I hope you’ve done something great before the year ends.  I don’t want you to cry and feel that you are weak. You’re awesome!  You’re great!  I know the struggles I’m in right now will soon fade away and I hope it’ll all make sense by the time you’re reading this.  I know things will be great and I just hope that it’ll be.

❤,

Carol

That was shocking though, I never read that letter until today.

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Well I’m halfway there. I’m still lost but I’m now a team lead trainee finishing her Master’s degree in business. Love wise…  I’m still inlove with the same guy and I still don’t have the courage to ask him the questions whose answers I dread the most.

I guess I didn’t age much. My mindset is still the same and my faith untarnished. I am still that 16 year old kid who trusts his Savior so much.

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I’ll continue my journey in finding the meaning of today. Every stitch, every struggle, every pain has a reason and all I need is a little faith and trust.

Thanks to awesome friends who’ve been there for me through good times and the bad. Yaaay grabbing some pictures from my Facebook friends.

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Thanks for giving me the sanity to survive each day. Thanks for the never ending support.

Also, thanks to my mama for raising me. I’m not a perfect daughter but you’ve been a good provider to me.

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Posted by on November 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Letter to God

07.27.2014

Dear God,

This week has been amazing and I cannot thank you enough for all the good things that have happened. I am happy that despite my emotional turmoils at work I decided to stay and remained as steadfast as possible. Thank you for guiding my decisions and for finally giving me the sign that it’s about time. It’s all about perfect timing.

I know I should have rejoiced because I nailed it but for me it’s not yet the time. The moment I decided to step up is the same moment I decided to welcome more dramas and  more challenges — also great chances for victories and lessons learned. It’s about time I develop and influence people. It’s about time to be someone. Thanks for giving me all the patience in the world, for time to unravel fully my maturity and for simply being positive despite my miseries. My life isn’t perfect but I don’t want to drown myself into the negative waves. I am resilient enough to face each challenge.

My life is now about to change. Thanks for this positive change God. I’ll learn a lot from the experience.

I am still bargaining though to finally have it all at the same time. A blooming career life and a happy heart is what I need. Ahmmmm… please? Anyhoo, thanks for giving me a best guy friend who has been there for me through good times and the bad, who constantly believes in my prowess, who cares for me when I do crazy things and who loves me in a different kind of way. I love him too. **blushing

Howkay! Enough of the cheesy stuffs. God, please take care of my old champ Riji who is now in dog heaven. I’ll surely miss him. You know how much I love him and how it pains me knowing that he’s gone but I know he’s in a better place. 😦

God, I’m still weak. I still have unsettled issues so I still need a lot of help. I trust you and I know that every failure has a reason, every tears I cried has its purpose and every pain has its story that I can share to others.  Lord, thank you for everything because I’ve learned to be mature enough to face the world.

Thanks and I love you.

Always,

Carol

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2014 in journal, life, Life Blog

 

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It’s That Time Of The Year Again

Merry Christmas.

24 years of celebrating Christmas and as years passes by it’s getting a little different. It’s not how it used to be though but I know I still have the essentials. I still have my mom and my uncle despite our generation gap, we were still able to meet halfway. Despite my cheery demeanor, I too have problems to deal with but I guess life would be meaningless without challenges.

Too much of dramas though… it’s Christmas eve and it’s the best time to reflect.  

My Christmas Eve Prayer

My Lord, I thank you for your never ending love and for not giving up on me by showing me everyday miracles that I should be thankful of.

Thank you for the gift of life and for the lives of the people I value the most.

Thank you for my job that I mostly hate and love all at the same time because it pays our bills and coffee.

Thank you for my friends who kept my secrets and helped me cope up with all of my dilemmas and frustrations that life has to offer.

Thank you for that special person who made this year a little more awesome and for the never ending good times whenever we’re together.

Thank you for my mom… thanks to all of her sacrifices, I’m where I am right now and my desire for growth will always be dedicated to her. It’s not easy to raise someone as difficult as I am, contrary to popular belief.

I’m not easy to deal with especially during my late teenage years.

Oh well.

Thank you for my ever patient uncle who takes good care of my mom whenever I’m out to work, to study or to just sit around doing nothing in a café.

Thank you for the strangers I meet everyday, for the people I’ve smiled, for acquaintances, for the annoying people and for all those random circumstances that have happened.

Thank you Lord for guiding my decisions and for the courage to face its consequences.

Thank you for reminding me that I’m not perfect, that I’m vulnerable, that I’m a sinner because I get to know what humility means and that I don’t always get what I want no matter how I think I deserved it more than anybody else.

I’m sorry for all the sins I’ve committed, for being judgmental and for questioning your will sometimes.

I love you My Lord and thank you so much.

Amen.

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Happy holidays from our home to yours.  Smile and be thankful. It’s Christmas!  🙂

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2013 in christmas, inspirational, journal, life

 

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