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The Day Before I Turned 25

Minutes before midnight, I’m sitting alone waiting for the bus to finally come and take me home. It’s been a long spontaneous day for me.

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It’s been a long day and I did crazy stuffs I won’t regret doing. I actually feel a little sad, well depressed is the exact word for no reasons at all. I’m sad because I’m getting older and nothing seems to be happening in my life — quarter life crisis thingy. I feel shitty today so  I decided to date myself after my friends turned down my various offers.

Fine, since I’m stubborn I did go to the mall and unwind. I know I’ve been working too hard lately, I just need to breathe. I treated myself with an iced caramel machiatto and watched people. I miss people watching at dusk so I’m pretty much glad I was able spend at least 30 minutes of savoring my coffee as various thoughts cloud my mind. I also got my first sticker!  Yey!

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I also did the unthinkable, walking in a notorious street alone. I went to Baywalk — Bacolod’s famous chill place to try karting. I’ve been an adrenaline junkie. My first lap was actually a disaster because I’ve crashed on tires but nevertheless it was frigging AWESOME! My smile was actually tattooed, yep I was smiling the whole time I hit the gas. It’s been my dream, to buy my own car and learn to drive. I wanted to be a race car driver… Herbie was actually my favorite childhood movie. Lindsay Lohan was amazing in her role. Blah blah blah. Haha

Again, I had fun in the track even though I  had boo boos and been a major hassle to the caretaker. I want to try those car drifts. I want that freaking speed. I want it like I never wanted something before. It has been my dream…

After my nerve wracking experience, I visited St. John Paul II tower. It was a humbling experience.

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He’ll always be my favorite Pope.  🙂

The view on top of the tower is actually beautiful. It reminded me of my Cebu vacation. I must say, this is staycation at its best.

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Beautiful boque lights…

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SM City Bacolod from the tower.

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I swear, I could have tried this before but I didn’t take the risk.

I stroll around SM City after my Pope John Paul II tower experience. I am not in the mood to go home yet so I used the movie ticket I won to watch Big Hero 6. It was a very nice movie I didn’t regret watching.

It’s 12am. 

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Happy silver year to me!

I’m still waiting for the bus. It’s like waiting for eternity.

I’m embracing a lot of problems this year.  Quarter life crisis taking its toll and life issues that will surely heighten my emotions once again. Oh God, I need you big time, this time.

Anyways, let me take this chance to say my thanks to you Oh Lord for the never ending patience and blessings. Thank you too for giving me the wisdom to understand that life won’t usually go as what I’ve planned it to be and that circumstances really do happen to test my faith and trust in you. Well, I won’t easily give up. Your plans are way better than mine so whatever it is, I lift my uncertainties to you. Thanks a lot for not giving up on me for the past 25 years. I owe you a lot my Lord. Please guide me still in every decision I make. All in God’s perfect time, Amen.  🙂

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Posted by on November 23, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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What If?

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Pic from: http://www.bustle.com/articles/36391-17-of-the-most-romantic-if-i-stay-quotes-we-need-to-see-in-the-film/image/36391

While watching If I Stay, I felt my heart being squeezed multiple times. I am sad on what have happened to the almost perfect family. Rarely can we find a family who’s so cool and chill, rarely can we find a complete family living happily in this modern world and rarely can we find a family who goes out for road trips just to have quality time together. No matter how beautiful things can be in this world shit really do happens, all of a sudden we find our lives twisted by fate. Everything becomes too different and we have no other choice but to accept no matter how great or painful that change can be.

We are all victims of fate, of chances, of choices, of circumstances…

I understood all that in my head, but I still didn’t believe it in my heart.”
Gayle Forman, If I Stay

Random thoughts flooding my mind as I watched the movie, what if one day it’ll also happen to me? What if I encountered an accident that will change my life?  What if I won’t survive?  Who will make me stay when I already lose the people I value the most — my family?

“Losing me will hurt; it will be the kind of pain that won’t feel real at first, and when it does, it will take her (his) breath away.
Gayle Forman, If I Stay

Then I remembered you, the Adam of my life.

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http://ilariatrinca.tumblr.com/post/97427896011/if-you-live-or-if-you-die-its-all-up-to-you

I then asked myself, what will be your life without me in it?  Will you lock yourself again in your room and be alone for weeks? Will you sing me a song on my deathbed? Will you bring me tequila while I’m struggling between staying or leaving this world full of giant bull craps?  I’m imagining you without me in it. Damn, that’s so terrible. Aha, no crazy friend you can spend an hour with, no one to argue with, no one to share work secrets and frustrations… no Shao in your world anymore.

I won’t deny to this but I’ve wanted to die multiple times already especially during my darkest days. I wanted to be with Dad, to be able to find comfort in his arms again and to finally find peace but I guess despite my longing to my father I still have reasons to live. I still want to live in this big fat gigantic stinking messy chaotic world. I still want to live because it’s beautiful to live and it’s more beautiful to live if you know you’re living for others. I want to live my life partly for my dreams and for you because I’m happy whenever I’m with you. Life’s less stressful, less daunting.

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http://ilariatrinca.tumblr.com/post/97427896011/if-you-live-or-if-you-die-its-all-up-to-you

I found this beautiful poem online that summarizes what I feel about someone while I’m working on this post.

A Pretty Sight

You said you weren’t that much of a pretty sight
I’ll tell you now
How wrong you were
And how I am right.

The pretty light that shines
In your eyes when you look up
Exceeds the sun a thousand times
And warms my heart, you buttercup.

The profoundness of your smile
Scares me to the bone
Because it’s all I want and need
And deprivation makes loneliness known. 

Your hands make you a wizard
For they draw my heart so near
And to love you is to lose you
Is now my one spell of fear. 

Pretty is so wrong a word
For a person whose heart is undeterred
Who owns the swift grace of a hummingbird. 

You said you weren’t that much of a pretty sight
I’ll tell you now
How wrong you were
And how I am right. 

You’re no pretty sight to me
For beauty, that is all I see.

Anonymous

Because in this lifetime, we’ll find that one person that will make us live no matter what. I guess I’ve found mine.

(“3 Little Things by Jason Mraz is on the background as I write this blog post ❤❤❤)

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Got the pic from: http://www.bustle.com/articles/36391-17-of-the-most-romantic-if-i-stay-quotes-we-need-to-see-in-the-film

“Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you.”
Gayle Forman, If I Stay

I always say that I like my choices and wherever I am right now, I thank God for guiding me all the way.

 
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Posted by on September 14, 2014 in life

 

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08/31 – Day 282: Robert Downey on Avengers

His Sarcasm.
His Wit.
His Awesomeness.

I am so sorry Captain America and Thor but seriously, I am inlove with Ironman. 🙂

 
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Posted by on September 13, 2012 in life, Movie

 

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07/15 – Day 235: Amazing Spider Man

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep!”

The current spidey movie is surely hitting two birds in one stone – for sure. You know why?
I love Spider Man (my most favorite superhero) and this time my ultimate crush is playing the role of Peter Parker. I am oogling over Garfield since The Social Network as Eduardo Saverin, and he certainly did not fail me.

I may not be totally impress with the movie but I can say that Andrew Garfield put justice with the role given to him. He’s surely hotter than Toby Maguirre. I think I just hated the sound system in the cinema or the fact that I watched it alone since most of my friends have watch it already (late bloomer as usual). It’s a fun to watch movie since Parker here is just a high school skater boy trying to find himself and deciphering what have happened to his parents. He’s one cool spidey playing tetris while waiting for The Lizard on his web. Fight scenes wise, it’s not superbly amazing but what I know is that it did not disappoint me at all. I am still glad that I was able to watch it and I am not really the type who dwells more on the plot of the story just to judge if it’s a good movie or not. No matter what, for me a good movie is something that would make me feel happy after watching it. 🙂

Is it his hair or his smile? I don’t know… what I know is that he’s indeed breathtaking. 😉

Thanks to this awesome links for the pixies:


Note: This may be an original post but not the pictures. whew!

 
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Posted by on July 22, 2012 in life, Life Blog, people

 

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06/16 – Day 206: The Lucky One

I really love how Nicholas Sparks write love stories.

The Lucky One is a story of a soldier named Logan who found a picture in Iraq that brought luck in his life. When he got back in Colorado, he decided to find the girl in the picture and walked miles and miles to Hampton, there he found the girl who made his heart beat. The story was so detailed as expectedly when you are reading it rather than watching it. I finished my e-book and decided to watch the movie weeks after to compare. I was a bit disappointed though. Victor was not part of the movie. He is Logan’s friend who actually pushed him to find Beth. I also expected that Ben hates well not really hate but just don’t like being with Keith but then in the movie they were actually doing well.
I don’t really expect that it will be the same as the book but there were scenes that were cut which I really want to see in the movie. Anyways, I am glad that I was able to watch and compare it.

 
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Posted by on June 20, 2012 in hobby, life, Movie

 

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12/17 – Day 24: One Day

Twenty Years. Two People. One Day.

In our life, we meet different people. Some become our friends, some well, they are just another stranger that comes in and out of our life and there is one that can change the course of our existence and just happened because of fate.

One Day is a movie adaptation from David Nicholls novel of the same name.

Dexter and Em are merely acquaintances. They spend the night together after their college graduation and been in touch with each other whether they are together or not every 15th of July. I don’t want to spoil the movie if you haven’t watched it yet but it is a good love story. It can happen in real life though.

Having a guy friend, a best friend to be exact wherein you can share every ups and downs of your life is one amazing thing that can happen in a girl’s life. I do have guy friends, share some stuffs with them, being cool without any emotional attachment but I can say that as you become closer with each other you cannot help but appreciate the person on a different light. You develop feelings may it be mutual or not. There are times you realized it when it is already too late or rather deny it because you just don’t want to ruin your friendship.

Em and Dexter shared a crazy love story. It is not a typical boy meets girl who had sex and they end up together. As years pass by, their friendship become stronger and deeper. He shares most of his ups moments to her and calls her when his world crash. She has always been the good friend who listens and gives him advices. Eventhough he may not be the best friend in the world, he believes in her dreams of becoming a writer. Dexter became a television presenter who hooks up with several women and drinks and party the night away.

Em made him a better man and in return, he makes her happy. I believed she already fall for him after they spent the night together. Dex on the other hand appreciated Em more when she’s already dating someone. Both were secretly longing and inlove with each other.

Overall, the movie is good. I can’t say it is great but it made me cry and believed that great relationships starts with friendship. 🙂

 
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Posted by on December 20, 2011 in life, Movie

 

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