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Never Have I Ever

Have you ever tried to play the game called Never Have I Ever during your random drinking session with your friends on a boring weekend night? The rule is simple though, prepare your vodka and beer because you might just take that shot.

I had my shot in living a life away from my own comfort zone. I felt so different right now compared to the way my mind and soul function a couple of weeks ago. I guess it was the break my soul needs. Now, let me play my Never Have I ever game… 

The rule of the game started with the players getting into a circle and all you need to say is Never Have I Ever wherein anyone who experienced it must drink. 

  • Never have I ever been to Manila alone at night.
  • Never have I ever eaten a Whooper inside Burger King.
  • Never have I ever ride an Uber pool taxi.
  • Never have I ever stayed in a shared hotel room.
  • Never have I ever eaten a complimentary restaurant breakfast alone.
  • Never have I ever shared an Uber ride with a guy named Leonard.
  • Never have I ever been to Uptown Mall in BGC.

    • Never have I ever been convinced to buy an anti-aging cream that is worth more than 8k.
    • Never have I ever watch a movie in Manila.

      • Never have I ever been in love with Beauty and the Beast.
      • Never have I ever use Google maps for directions.
      • Never have I ever been to The Palace Pool Club.

        • Never have I ever stroll around the busy Streets of Bonifacio Global City.

          • Never have I ever been to Art Bar in BGC.

            • Never have I ever been to Market Market.
            • Never have I ever been to SM Aura Premiere.

              • Never have I ever been to SM Mall of Asia.
              • Never have I ever talked to a cab driver on how he learned to speak English even if he’s educational attainment is an elementary undergraduate.
              • Never have I ever talked to a Chinese inside an Uber pool taxi.
              • Never have I ever travel alone for 4 days in Luzon.
              • Never have I ever travel with a group​ of strangers.

              • Never have I ever been to Quezon Province and Masbate.

              • Never have I ever experienced traveling against big waves.
              • Never have I ever been to an island alone.
              • Never have I ever been to 5 beautiful islands in just 2 days.
              • Never have I ever sleep without showering and peeing just because it costs too much for a gallon of water.

                • Never have I ever appreciated the simple life since time immemorial.

                • Never have I ever had serious life talks with random strangers turned to friends.
                • Never have I ever watch a sky full of stars.
                • Never have I ever experienced paying a random person to charge my phone and power bank.
                • Never have I ever done something crazy such as cliff jumping.


                • Never have I ever been to a sandbar that is so beautiful surrounded by clear waters.

                  • Never have I ever felt so free and empowered.

                  • Never have I ever been lost in EDSA.
                  • Never have I ever been inside a sleep capsule. 

                  • Never have I ever listen to someone talking and just hearing his thoughts.
                  • Never have I ever been to Army Navy in NAIA.
                  • Never have I ever help a stranger connect to WiFi and see in her eyes how happy she is because she’s now able to contact her loved ones in Zamboanga.
                  • Never have I ever thought that bad ideas can actually produce great memories. 

                    Solitude taught me how to live my life with a sheer appreciation of who I am.  For years I always seek to know more about myself in order to live a life of purpose. I am self-sufficient with an in depth knowledge of my advantages and frailties. Last weekend I did some recalibration not that I don’t do it when I’m lost but it felt so necessary while I’m traveling. A lot of realizations came into my mind and it was an eye opener. It’s about time for me to set some deadlines.  I cannot afford to waste my life waiting and be hopeful for nothing. I cannot live my life forever in a corner with my demons lurking. I cannot live my life without enjoying this beautiful fleeting moments. Even if some circumstances and people are exasperating and making me lose my faith in humanity, I wanted to be the difference. My purpose is to make my stay worthwhile by helping others and making those who’ve lost their faith suddenly feel the hope the humanity needs.

                    One wise friend once told me to try something out just to know if it is for you.

                    Have you tried something you’re afraid of for the first time? I guess it’s about time you play the never have I ever game and see how it’ll change your life for good.

                     
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                    Posted by on March 25, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    The Haunted. 

                    I woke up with a desire to write my thoughts and prayed that what I feel right now be my reason for living. 

                    As I squander my thoughts and forcing myself to remember my dreams, I came across a realization — I am still optimistic. It has been weeks of constant wondering and battling my recurring sadness. Depression is something not all people totally understand and I don’t seek to be understood. Some may wonder why people like us suffer from such when the world is actually cruel to others too. All of us have our own demons and we battle it one by one — some end up victorious and some are being dragged to darkness and lose it.  I’m somewhere in between. 

                    My life has always been in between extremes and I usually open my arms wide and scream to God to take it all away. I usually surrender before I lose the argument of why me of all the people in the world?  Life is such a tease and I’m at my wits end. 

                    You read articles about depression its causes and how we cope.  You can seek professional help or like my case I battled it alone because I fear to be judge like a psychopath. I don’t need medication, I need an outlet. I kept myself busy reading self-help books trying to find purpose in this life but as days pass by I still feel incomplete. Life is pointless and I don’t actually know why I am still living. I live a routine life, trying to break it once in a while yet all that I am and all that I did is just something dispensable. The world will survive without me. 

                    Depression for me is not just an illness but a state when you no longer find meaning in everything no matter how beautiful your life is in the eyes of others. You don’t know the battle we constantly face, you don’t know how it feels to live without a purpose. 

                    As I watch every sunset and sunrise, I long for that day when everything finally makes sense. I long for the day when I’m excited to wake up and live. Every day feels the same, I keep myself busy with work or hangout with great set of friends and I end up alone in my room thinking…  until when will I feel such emptiness? 

                    I write my thoughts hoping to inspire those who are battling or find people who suffered and survived. I wish not to die without feeling alive. People like me ain’t ordinary. You need to dig deeper, to meet my demons and play with them. I don’t open up to people not because I fear to be judged but because not all understand. I survived it before by not losing my faith and right now I’m breathing because I don’t have a better choice. I hope one day I’ll stumble upon answers to my questions. I hope to fill the cup of madness once again — to live my life like the way it was before adulthood happened,  a life when I’m not haunted by my thoughts and just plainly inspired of what the future may bring. 

                     
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                    Posted by on March 13, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    Different Being.

                    I stared blankly to empty spaces wondering why. A lot of questions wrapped my happy bubble and I got intoxicated by my own thoughts. I never thought I’ll feel it again, losing faith in life… questioning my existence with nothing to hold on to anymore. I drafted my supposed to be blog post days ago but I cannot just finished it.Words won’t come out and the feeling of hopelessness is slowly killing me.

                    I was so happy last week. I never felt so free but after my recent vacation reality hit me so hard. I lost my phone’s memory with all my pictures and files gone to tech heaven. I was devastated. I don’t want to rehash how intoxicated I am with the negativities and realities I kept on running away from. Suicide ideation flooded the remaining piece of hope I had — here I am again, thinking of ending everything.

                    This time I did tell several people, not to stop me from actually doing it but probably have someone I can argue to. People who’ll know how crazy I can be; People who’ll probably think I’m a psychopath for putting up with unnecessary dramas knowing that some people are actually in worst case than I am but no I want them to know that depression is real and I’m trying to escape it but it’s haunting me. 

                    Last weekend I went out with friends and talked about it. They do understand my situation and would actually empathize.I didn’t feel any different after except of course that weird feeling of ripping yourself off to your friends who consider you as the life of the party. I am, I must say will always be but it’s just not that normal for me – to be seen crying hopelessly. It’s not normal to talk about depression and it’s not normal to share it with people but I did. I’m still not sure if I’ll be glad that I did.
                    Life still for me is a pointless journey. I still hate everything. I hate being smart. I hate loving people who can’t even see my worth. I hate my work because I need to cope up with people who tests my patience and can’t meet my expectations. I hate the world and all of its dramas. I simply hate it but what can I do about it? 

                    Perhaps, change my perspective.

                    When I shared what I’m up to with my closest friends, they now looked at me in ways I never imagined them to be. I can sense that they’re sad because I’m actually thinking of dying when the world has a lot to offer for me.I don’t see any hope at all with regard to my situation and trying to be strong is not an option or a necessity. It’s just a memory.

                    Maybe you’re wondering why I’m still blabbing if I wanted to die already. Well probably because I don’t know how to end it in a sophisticated way rather than jumping off a building or overdose myself. I just don’t know how to do it even if I wanted it. That is a tough problem I need to surpass. Geez. 

                    Going back to my life right now, I did something stupid. I booked myself to a tour package alone in Baler next month. My friend in Manila wants me to accompany him in Puerto Galera to unwind but I think it would be better for me to go alone. It gave me a certain thrill and I hold on to that excitement. Today I live because I know tomorrow has no guarantee but as long as I exist I can do something about it. 

                    Life surely knows how to play its trick. I questioned God again to the point of being blasphemous. I cursed him again for being so unfair to me even if I’m faithful to him. I tried to be a better person but God, he made me suffer and test me. He asked me to wait and wait and now to the point of me giving up. I believed that things will change and people too but it became a huge disappointment. My indecisiveness frustrated me for I still cannot think of a better career. I no longer assumed or believed in everything. I lose faith in the things I do and lastly I lose faith in life and all its aspects.

                    I sat here watching people live their lives. I watched how people look at their children in awe. I looked at the guard waiting for his shift to end. I looked at the taxi driver waiting for a passenger. I looked at the laughing girl wondering what’s her story behind and how I used to look at myself — positive, idealistic and full of hope.

                    Maybe I should be a little less hopeful this time. I should stop over analyzing things and let life happen as it bound to be. I sat here with a little faith that my fate will change.I’ll probably expect the worst in life.I’ll expect that I’ll be alone and that nobody will be strong enough to tell me how I’m meant in his life. I’ll expect that nothing great will happen in my work life despite the effort I exert to it. What do I get right now? Frustrations. It is so difficult to live in this world with an expectation that it’s easy if people see things the way I see it. Pretty much a boring world if that’s the case — no challenge and purely happiness.

                    I recalled how my friend looked at me, a look of pity and how I hate that feeling. All of my life I’m programmed to be the alpha. I have an image to maintain but I ripped off my mask to people I trust aside from my best friend. They saw how vulnerable I can be yet accepted me. I feel a bit better but still bothered. They assured me that they’ll be there for me but I know that this battle is better off alone. I know I’m not strong but I know that this might be just a phase.

                    I would want to look at today in the nearby future with proud thoughts and realizations that my recent past needs to happen because it will make me better and that it’s just a prelude to a life I’ve been waiting. Whatever.blah.blah.blah. I should stop being too hopeful. 

                    I don’t want to hope anymore but I can’t help it sometimes. Life’s a joke and the joke is currently on me.

                    Today, I rest my case.

                    Oh and lastly… in your eyes I found a tinge of hope; what we have is something that I can hold on to.

                    I just want something like this.
                    Good vibes. 🙂

                     
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                    Posted by on February 27, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    Happiness : A Quest


                    The world did not promise a life without challenges. It is so unfair that sometimes you find yourself sulking in one corner whining why life is so unfair and why you of all the millions of people in the world needs to suffer such ordeal. You chug beers after beers hoping to ease the incompleteness you feel only to end up feeling the same shit all over again. Can we just live a life where dreams can be our reality and everything is just how we imagined to be? 
                    Probably in a perfect world which is obviously… impossible

                    According to vocabulary.com happiness is defined as a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. When people are successful, or safe, or lucky, they feel happiness. The “pursuit of happiness” is something this country is based on, and different people feel happiness for different reasons. Whenever doing something causes happiness, people usually want to do more of it. No one ever complained about feeling too much happiness.

                    Source: https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/happiness

                    Let’s break it down a little bit further.

                    Happiness is a sense of well-being. 

                    When you look at yourself in the mirror do you like what you’re seeing?  

                    Did you turn to be the person you wanted to be?  

                    Do you still feel sad when people say bad things about you? 

                    You wanted a better look and a better body, would you undergo aesthetic surgery just to feel beautiful? 

                    Happiness is contentment. 

                    Are you satisfied of what you have right now or do you wish for more? 

                    Is your house the house you planned out or not?  

                    Do you have any regrets recently because of some decisions you made? 

                    Hot guy/gal you recently get along with is way better than your partner, will you take the risk of knowing that person more on a different level even if you’re in a relationship? 

                    Happiness is success. 

                    Did you pursue that dream job you wanted since preschool? 

                    Did you get all the rewards you aimed for while you’re in school? 

                    Do other people see you as a role model? 

                    Happiness is being lucky. 

                    Do you remember the time you won a bet or a game without actually expecting it?

                    Did a random stranger treat you for something without any reason just because? 

                    You got the early bird prize and you’re in awe because it’s the first time you came on time.

                    They say you had beginner’s luck after playing a card game you know nothing about and won three consecutive times. 

                    Such an amazing feeling,  right? 

                    Happiness is feeling safe and secure. 

                    Have you thanked God for keeping you safe during the late nights when you’re alone walking on an alley? 

                    What do you feel after surviving large waves that can almost capsize the vessel you’re on? 

                    What do you feel after 3 days of traveling alone and now you’re home? 

                    You’ve seen your investments and started to build your funds for the future. Isn’t it the best decision you made for years? 

                    You will get married soon, are you sure he/she is really the one? 

                    Happiness is something universal, is it? 

                    What makes me happy may not be the same with other people. The word happy may be something most of us understand but what and who makes us happy vary. It is subjective and affective.  It is one’s perception about life, it is indeed a state of mind. I can be happy whenever I travel — feeling the sands in my feet and watching the sun as it totally sets leaving the horizon with yellow orange watercolor-like splats. Writing stuff without any audience still make me happy because it’s my passion even if others find it boring. I write poems and haiku out of boredom and I feel giddy after because I see my thoughts concealed into words. Earlier I posted questions for every definition of happiness hoping I could answer with a solid yes in the future.  It’s not that I have a crappy life, some things don’t make any sense yet. Happiness is a lot of things for a lot of people and I guess it’s not something universal at all.

                    Recently I encountered a lot of realizations as I people watch in a nearby café where I work. I looked at the building where I spent almost 7 years of my life thinking when will I finally decide to let go. Career opportunities are steps away and I must say I’m earning good but the light within me is about to fade away. Is this where I really want to be? I still don’t have plan B so better yet stay for the mean time and enjoy the company of people I love to be with. I am still happy but if you ask me if I’m satisfied… without second thought my answer would be NO. There’s this voice inside me that screams, you are made to change lives — to change the world. Next question though will be… HOW

                    Excitement then fades away. 

                    Unknown couple pass by while I sip my soup. I then wondered how it feels to have someone who’ll appreciate and accept you for who you are. Someone who’ll text you good morning and good night sleep tight after a tiring day at work. The thought actually cringes me but still made me wonder more. Also, I am wondering how some people would actually still continue to be in a relationship just because they’ve been together for a long time or just because they have kids while love and self-respect are slowly fading away. Some may even try to fix all those indifferences up to the point of accepting one’s cheating acts just to salvage the relationship. It may work but most of the time it fails. I don’t know if it’s just me or what but my take on that would be simple, choose whatever makes you happy. Love sometimes ain’t enough to suffice one’s desire for growth or betterment.If the relationship is no longer healthy and if instead of growing together as better individuals you turned out to be your worst version then it’s about time for you to break away from the stress regardless of the years; regardless of what you’ve sworn in church. God didn’t want you to suffer for the rest of your life thus his gift of reason — for us to choose happiness no matter how selfish others may think it would be.People won’t understand until they get to experience it. 

                    The gloomy weather is just right for my thoughts as I finished my soup and my other post, Resonated Thoughts. I feel happy after eating my molo soup and felt even happier knowing that I’m able to fluidly write what’s on my mind after a long period of writer’s block. I let my imagination and feelings die for the mean time so that I can get back to my work with a more focus mind. It’s hard to tame my inner Anne Frank when it’s in the mood to scribble her thoughts. 

                    I realized how different we all are and our definition of happiness is just so interesting. Sometimes we get jealous of others not knowing how much they’ve sacrificed just to attain such achievements or material things. As more people pass by in front of me, I can say that for once in our life everyone deserves to be happy and not judged for any choices we make. 

                    I can conclude that happiness is a quest. It is our daily struggle that we need to surpass.  It is our day to day journey of finding the answers to life’s daunting questions or it can be our random banter moments with friends. It can be deep or superficial depending on your own personality. It can be a good book, an IG-worthy place, aromatic coffee, old wine or a full 8-hour sleep. Sometimes it may take a lifetime to fully understand life’s meaning or probably another lifetime to prove that happiness do exist even if we’re living in a crappy world. We won’t appreciate such joy if we haven’t shed any tears. Happiness is just like other emotions we feel — it’ll pass, just another moment or another beautiful memory.  It fuels us to go on in search for more of that feeling. It is something addictive as we all wanted to be happy for the rest of our lives. 

                    If you continue to pursue happiness in your daily life then it will surely brings out the best in this world, Y O U


                     
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                    Posted by on January 31, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    Resonated Thoughts. 

                    I looked at myself in the mirror and how I’ve grown mature over the years. I remembered how much of a battle it is to face adulthood with myself as the best go to person I have. I’ve gone through series of successes and failures who made me wiser and should I say not tough towards myself. 

                    As I look closely, I wondered how I am still alone. I can see the loneliness of my soul haunting me like a demon, lurking quietly and is about to consume my sunshine anytime. He is there, waiting for the right moment. I suddenly fear all the happy times I have lately for I know it comes with a price. It seems that everything has been too superficial and that happiness is just a fleeting moment; nothing indeed lasts. 

                    I touched the mirror, no creases emerged from my face though there’s a tingling sensation in my hands. I feel like I’m being burned by my thoughts. The memories became so clear and I realized how f*ck up I am. My life, all of these are just a thing in the moment but deep inside I crave for more…  I long for happiness that will last. I long for conversations that last for hours. I long for someone who’ll be there for me this time. I’ve been saving broken souls only to find out that in the process of fixing and changing other people I’ve lost myself. I thought it’s love, I thought I’m the heroin… I am not. I suddenly became the villain of my own life.  I screwed myself for praying and hoping that he’s the one but I ended up breaking my own soul to hating myself for not being strong enough to fight the complications. I thought I’m strong but I’m not. 

                    I let go of the mirror. I bowed my head and looked again. I saw a beautiful face. I saw myself accepting her flaws and how her frailty actually strengthened the every fiber of her being. It’s a work in progress.  She flipped her hair confidently knowing she is better now.  I am better now despite the loneliness, despite the cravings, despite the fear of not achieving my dreams and despite the challenges. One day at a time I remind myself. 

                    One beautiful day at a time. 

                    My thoughts resonating as alcohol fully subsided. I don’t know why I wanted to write about this but I hope somehow, someone will be inspired to not give up on life and just seize the moment. We are incomplete. We are lost. We are lonely but we need to live. We got to… 

                    We have to.;)

                     
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                    Posted by on January 30, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    What Love Means To Me. 

                    I’m not cold hearted, contrary to what other people think of me. I don’t have high standards and I don’t understand why men are intimidated by my wit and quirkiness. 

                    As I watch the clouds pass by, I came into life queries that are so difficult to answer in a snap. I asked myself what’s wrong. I asked myself all the whys and what ifs the world has to offer. In silence, I can feel my heart drowning in various emotions I got no words to further explain such feeling except that loneliness creeps in leaving me in blues. 

                    I go back to where it all started. 

                    I gave my heart to people who didn’t love me as much as I love them. The first one left because I lied to him. The second one, well I pretty much assumed that he’s into me and left me hanging in between then he’s gone and left me for granted. The last one was almost the right one but my insecurities build up walls that separated us.  I still wish someday he’ll find himself and be mature in dealing with everything and finally for him to stand firmly on what he feels rather than not face it at all. I learned that love is not just about having someone who accepted you for being you but it’s also about timing and external factors. It’s about how you fight for it regardless of anything. I am alone because I didn’t fight for what I feel. I am alone because I got scared of his world.  I am alone because he didn’t tell me how much I mean to him. It was probably just plain friendship that grew up into something… 

                    Whenever I recall the days we used to spend together, I cannot help but be sad because those were the days that I’m happy. I never thought I’ll ever learn to care and love someone. I guess I’ll be forever thankful for him because I was able to care for someone more than I cared for myself and it’s a good thing. I guarded myself for too long and only God knows how much I prayed that he’ll be the one. God left me unanswered prayers that just frustrated me. Things changed now…  I am no longer bothered of us not being together. It saddens me sometimes how I’ve exerted too much time and effort for someone who’ll choose beer and tequila over me. 

                    As I enter a new year being single I accepted the fact that maybe I’ll end up with no one. I watched my friends find their significant others, some got married and some have kids already. Life is not perfect but I’ve seen them happy having someone by their side,  someone who loves them more than they love themselves and it’s such a beautiful sight to see. 

                    Sometimes, I wish to have someone who’ll be there for me during the times when I feel so ugly and weak. Someone to remind me that I’m amazing and someone who will make me priority number one regardless of what’s going on in his life. God, if you’re listening right now…  You’ve seen how stupid I can be and how shallow my happiness is. I may miss those car rides, drunken moments and non-stop talks… and how I wish I’ll meet that guy too, not the same like my recent past but someone whom I can banter around on what food to choose in McDonald’s. I want someone I can laugh too and someone who’ll hold my hand when I’m pretty much confused of what’s going om with everything in my life. 

                    I’m tired of being strong. I’m tired of being alone. 

                    Love is something endearing, something that warms the frozen corners of our heart and leave us unguarded. It gives us hope in humanity and it makes us believe that life is worth living. Loving someone is a beautiful feeling only few people are lucky to experience. Love month is about to come and I’m still single. How I long for that day when Valentines is one day I’ll look forward to.  How I long for love…  A love that will last forever this time. 

                     
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                    Posted by on January 22, 2017 in personal

                     

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                    2016 : In Text and Photos

                    The year that was and the year that will be…

                    2016 is not the best year but it’s a year full of new beginnings and bittersweet endings. I’ve written my frustrations and unanswered prayers in my previous blog posts and I won’t rehash it anymore.

                    December of last year, I decided not to expect much on what 2016 can actually bring into my life. I promised myself to be more open-minded and just let life happen.

                    I made 2016 my travel year and indeed I got what I wanted — memories and experiences that made me realized how beautiful life can actually be. I went to places I’ve never been to and created new memories from the places I’ve been to before.

                    In 2017, I want a monthly travel plan like what I tried to achieve last year.

                    February 

                    • Iloilo City day trip

                    March

                    •  Church, Cebu
                    • Cagayan de Oro 
                    • Bukidnon
                    • Misamis Oriental 

                    April

                    • Boracay Island

                    May

                    • Bantayan Island,Cebu

                    August

                    • Kapurpurawan Rock Formation
                    • Patapat Viaduct
                    • Pagudpud
                    • Laoag
                    • Vigan 
                    • Cordillera 
                    • Baguio City
                    • Tagaytay 

                    September 

                    • La Carlota City

                    October 

                    • Puka Beach, Boracay 

                    November 

                    • Gary’s Punong, Silay City
                    • Dumaguete City

                    December 

                    • Don Salvador Benedicto 

                    Oh… the places I will go!

                    2016 taught me to embrace change and I had a surprise of my life when I got transferred to another program. It was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster but I’m glad that I was able to adjust. New team and new colleagues, I’m back to where I’ve started and it’s starting to feel like home.

                    I failed my 2016 goal but being top team for FCR last Q3 is not bad. A reminder that I don’t totally get what I usually want, TOP TEAM.  I remembered how my ASNP life was, great times with lots of achievements and recognitions. Oh well, I guess I’m simply glad that I met new bunch of people who became a great part of my 2016. 

                    I got new set of friends this year but still having great times with the old ones.

                    I’ve been to a lot of events for the first time.

                    • Lights of Bago 2016
                    • Boom: Music fest 
                    • Boyce Avenue Concert
                    • Tito Nonoy’s wake
                    • RTNHS alumni homecoming 
                    • Laboracay 2016
                    • Site Recognitions 
                    • Birthday Parties 
                    • Give a Bag of Hope 2
                    • Masskara Festival 
                    • Random meet ups and get together
                    • Empire : CVG Christmas Party 
                    • HSD Gift Giving 

                      It’s my first to open a passbook savings account and bought an insurance for myself. This is to ensure my future and be financially independent moving forward.

                      Now, despite me going to the gym for the first time last October to be stronger and to shed off some excess fats I still cannot help but indulge myself to new restaurants and café.

                      Top 10 favorite places to dine and chill

                      • Starbucks
                      • Vikings
                      • Merkado 
                      • Miren Café 
                      • Manhattan’s Fleet Gastropub
                      • Bob’s Café
                      • Delicioso 
                      • Bascon Café 
                      • Calea 
                      • Cantina Mondo 

                      Food trippin’

                      I am a food junkie who loves to eat and chill.

                      Coffee and Alcohol 

                      always been my refuge since my mind and heart usually have irreconcilable differences. 

                      And vanity continues this 2017…

                      9 Best Selfie moments!!! 😂

                      Ain’t tired of my face… thank God for the gift of youthfulness. 😂

                      I let God take the driver’s seat. I won’t push him anymore to grant my heart’s desires for I know that all good things come to those who wait. I won’t sulk for all the unanswered prayers. I won’t punish myself for the mistakes I did. I won’t live my life with regrets. I will stop holding on to people who doesn’t take an extra mile to be there for me and to show how important I am. I will not settle for less than I deserve just because I don’t have an option. I will stop having too much faith in humanity for it’ll just be another disappointing memory to bear. I will keep on controlling the beast in me because I know how asshole I can be. I should know better and be the bigger person no matter what. I won’t let my anger control me because it’ll end up with something I’ll just regret. I hope I’ll still be more motivated to write and let people know my other side. I hope to inspire others through my words and lastly, I hope to find the incomplete pieces of my life’s puzzle. The blank spaces haunt me, wanting to be filled soon.

                      I don’t expect much for 2017. I’ll just embrace it as it unfolds another chapter of my life. Whatever happens whether it’ll turn out to be great or not I know for sure that it will make me a better person. I know I’ll be frustrated again, probably shed buckets of tears or worst encounter another heartbreaking moment. I’ll take whatever God’s challenge will be, as if I have a better choice. Anyways, I choose to chill and I will keep on choosing things and people that will make me happy. Life’s short as they say so why choose to suffer?

                       Live and let go for life is meant to be experienced and discovered. Hey 2017, what’s up? I’m definitely ready for you.

                      XOXO,

                      Carol  😘

                       

                       
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                      Posted by on January 1, 2017 in adventures, art, food, personal, travel, writing

                       

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