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Outgrowing Yourself, Redefining Life

27 Aug

All of us probably wanted to live a little longer and enjoy this beautiful world but have you ever thought that it’s not actually how long you live but how you make most out of the life you have?

I always wonder what life has to offer me and I know for myself that money ain’t always my sole purpose of existing. It is not the material things that can actually complete me but I know for a fact that it is something inanimate. I seek for a deeper purpose most of the time and I see things differently compared to how others thread their daily lives. We are not born to just exist, we are born to LIVE. 

Today, I wanted to step back and reevaluate my life again after what I have been through this year; all the people I met and realizations that struck me during times that I didn’t actually expect it. I must say, it has been a year full of lessons that made me outgrow who I used to be and be someone I didn’t actually expect. My understanding of my own life became clearer and never have I been prouder to know that I didn’t cut my existence short just because I lose my faith. 

There are times in our lives that we totally do not understand why certain mishaps happen and times that test not just our faith but our totality as a human being. Heartbreaks and frustrations that shattered us to bits and made us experience rock bottom. The demons inside our head that crippled us and made us feel that no matter how we wanted to be better we are deemed to fail. We tried to stand up every time we fall, wiped those tears and even fought back several times than we imagined. Most of the time we continue to move forward, some escape their realities and get haunted later on while few quit life too soon. We have a lot of ways to cope up with what life has to offer but I guess the best way is deciding to outgrow ourselves and be in tune with our own being. 

I remembered Wil Dasovich’s video (click me ——-> Wil Dasovich  ) telling the world of his illness and how he still manages to be positive despite such bad news. I too thought about my own life and how well I lived it. What struck me the most are these questions “How satisfied are you with the way you flipped your life? Have you maximized your experience?” 

My answer? I am halfway there, perhaps.

A good friend once asked me if given a chance would I want to see the future for me to continue moving on with sheer positivity because you already had a glimpse of what is in store for you in the future? Without any doubt I said NO. Tempting as it may be, provided that life will give me a genie that grants wishes such as such I still do not want to see my future. The journey is not as beautiful as it supposed to be if that is the case. I know how I have been ranting too much or even questioning my own existence from my previous blog posts but in my heart I know that there’s a bigger reason behind everything. Every battle is meaningful even if it took me almost a decade or whatever number of years, months, weeks and days to understand. Life has its own way to uncover its meaning and sometimes we realized it late or even unexpectedly. We tend to be too impatient, we demanded too much for answers and even wanted to defy time. We know that no matter how we try to change our own path, our destiny will unravel in its own season and it is for us to fully understand why certain things need to happen for us to appreciate our life a little more.

I wanted to max out my life before life screams time’s up bitch! I wanted others to be better too and not dwell on the negativities. We need to accentuate the positive most of the time because staying sad and depressed will just not make us better. For the nth time, never have I ever wanted to outgrow myself as much as I have wanted it now.

Here are some instances that hinder us to be our better version:

  • We stick to what is convenient and practical even if it kills us inside. 
  • We focus more on our insecurities rather than our strengths.
  • We justify our vices because we say life is too short and ended up being unhealthy and sick later on. 
  • We are so into our social media accounts and it make us feel envious of other people’s lives. Classic feels. 
  • We live the dreams our parents wanted for us and lose our own identity in the process. 
  • We cannot be ourselves because we fear that society might judge us, we usually tend to conform. 
  • We try to stay in a crappy relationship because of the number of years you’ve been together without even realizing that instead of growing together you are already growing apart. 
  • We force ourselves to be someone in order to prove those who’ve hurt us that we are actually better only to end up being too frustrated because we are doing it to boost our pride but will still make us feel empty in the end.  
  • We focus too much in our future not experiencing what today has to offer.
  • We choose not to be happy because we think that we do not deserve it. It can be an event, things we wanted or even a person to love. 
  • We sulk into miseries instead of looking at the bigger picture.
  • We blame others or circumstances why we are unsatisfied with our life or why we are where we are right now. 
  • We pretend that we are fine because it is the image that we project to others. They think you got it all figured out.
  • We choose to be in the safer side of the spectrum and not taking any risk because of fear and the odds might not be in our favor.
  • We enter into a relationship because we are lonely and worst, sometimes we are fine being just the third party because we feel that we are loved and it feeds our satisfaction. Only to know later on that you hindered yourself from people that can actually make you their priority. 
  • We have a couple of hang ups that keep on haunting us as years go by. It would be best to face it rather than run from it.
  • We keep ourselves too busy and preoccupied because reality bites but actually we forgot about the little things — a smile from an innocent kid,a beautiful sunset, morning dew drops, breathing and a chance each day to be the person we wanted to be. 
  • We predetermined our future and tried to wire our minds to it without even realizing that life has its own way to surprise us. 
  • We do not have an abundant mindset.

The list is actually limited because there are thousands of reasons that made us chase pavements instead of exploring our sole existence as human beings and that is again to grow as time passes by or maybe towards a bigger purpose not yet defined. 

Purpose, here we go again. Some people already got their lives figured out while some is still in the process. My existence revolves in knowing what will fill the void that I feel inside of me. I am calming my own storms as years pass by. I know that when I look in the mirror I saw someone who is willing to leave everything behind and live the life she wanted. I got gazillions of plans and I only have a limited time. While I am young and strong, I will keep on choosing whatever will make me happy. Life is too short to drink a crappy wine, listen to a crappy song, eating a crappy food, being in The crappy relationship, hanging out with crappy people who drains your energy and be in your crappy comfort zone. 

Live and be an inspiration.

Live and believe.

Live and love. 

Choose what makes you happy. Choose whoever makes you happy. Let go of people you love so much even if it hurts especially if you no longer see a better future with them. The toughest thing I did is to finally let go of everything I hold on to for the past years to make room for something better. I am a bigger person now by choosing my battles wisely. I am closing one chapter of my life and is starting to redefine it.To quote Wil Dasovich: “As you age, you will come to a realization that you will be disappointed with the things you didn’t do than the things you did do.”

Indeed, it is not the years in your life but the life in your years.

Every day can be a brand new start for all of us. It’s about time.

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Posted by on August 27, 2017 in personal

 

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