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05/13 – Day 172: Mother’s Day

23 May

Mom.

I am never the affectionate daughter nor I am from a very affectionate family. We don’t need to say I love you all the time to affirm how much we love each other. I guess it is just the way it is at home.

When I was a kid, whenever my mom scolds me for doing something wrong, calling me the destroyer whenever I break things at home and especially talking about how irresponsible I am for not putting my toys back to their proper places; I always run to my dad for comfort. I am always a daddy’s little girl and I would admit I love my dad more than my mom.

When dad died, everything changed. When I say everything, I really mean everything. I learned to be close to my mom and we still do have arguments once in a while but I guess I just lived with it over the years. There were times that I think she’s overthinking and she don’t trust me, times wherein she’s over protective and times that she’s being too hard on me even if I am not doing wrong but I guess the discipline I had from her was all worth it and overall, I can say I was definitely raised well.

I already told her that I am thankful for all the hardwork and sacrifices that she has done and in return she knew that I am never a rebel daughter. I graduated with honors back in high school and she did not spent a lot with my tuition in college because I had a scholarship and I did not fail her expectation. Good thing, I did not try to be the best daughter because I am not, I am just being myself but of course, I also wanted to be someone my parents can be proud of. I am the only child where the best is surely expected from you and the worst thing I can be is to be a disappointment to the family.

Now that I am a yuppie (young professional), it is time for me to give back. At least, my mom trusts me more today because she knew that I knew my way to success. I am happy that she’s proud of me for who I become over the years. It’s the best affirmation for every good thing that I have done over the years. It was not easy especially growing up without a father but I know that if dad is alive he will commend my mom for being a great mother to me. She does not want me to be like other girls but seriously mom, I don’t want to be like them either — being a mom at a very young age? not my thing.(haha) I still have dreams, goals and plans to reach. I take my life slowly… but surely — cliche as it may sound but I really want to live by the moment.

Thank you Ma, for everything. She gave me the attention that I needed that’s why I grew up confident and simple. I don’t need to brag about myself just to impress people. I find it pathetic if people talk about themselves too much. I blame it to their upbringing though — they were not given the attention that they deserved. I am one of the blessed kids that was given the much needed attention by their parents. I had a happy childhood and it shows… I am positive about my life and I can say that I don’t need to talk about myself to impress others and have their attention. I know myself better today, I already embraced my flaws and I am now in the process of becoming a better person.

Anyways, I love you, Ma.

Thank you and I wished that you will still be with me for the next few years. I want to pay back for everything that you have done. You may not be the perfect mother nor I am a perfect daughter but I appreciated everything that you have done and I know how much you have lost just to give me what I wanted and needed before. There are problems that we have encountered, struggles beyond we can imagine and things that frustrate us but remember you are not alone in every battle, I was there and will always be there for you. This time I will protect you especially that you can’t protect yourself anymore. No words can express my gratitude and love for you. I really owe you big time. Thank you, thank you… thank you so much, Ma.

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Posted by on May 23, 2012 in life

 

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